Honest is HARD

People say to be honest. To be with the person you love. Well how are you supposed to know what your feelings mean until it's all too late? Falling for someone while in a long distance relationship I thought I was just feeling lonely or horny. I thought the distance was making me feel so alone...and it was. So l stayed in the relationship and we stopped being long distance. But the feelings for the new person never faded and I think I made a really bad series of life choices.

18 Comments

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You’re right, honest IS hard

Nov 14, 2020 at 3:56pm

We are so fixated on what we are supposed to want that it’s hard to identify what we actually want.

Free advice

Nov 14, 2020 at 4:57pm

Always be honest with yourself and how you’re feeling, and how you are evaluating the evidence.

It’s not necessarily a good idea to be honest with other people. People generally want to hear only good things about themselves and they will punish you for giving them sincere feedback.

Feels OP

Nov 14, 2020 at 4:59pm

There was a comedian who joked about "it seemed like a good idea at the time". Most people make this mistake. Don't beat yourself up.

20 8Rating: +12

I think

Nov 14, 2020 at 6:27pm

Stupidity is your main problem

Being a liar

Nov 14, 2020 at 8:43pm

Is a stupid life choice.
Word gets around.
The nobody likes you.
Then what?
Who do you lie to then?
Your hampster?
You know where you can stick that.

Ooo OP

Nov 15, 2020 at 2:29pm

Looks like you triggered a couple negative remarks (though not necessarily from a *couple of people ;).

15 7Rating: +8

Honestly, though...

Nov 15, 2020 at 5:43pm

Being honest with yourself is hard, it's not hard to be honest to other people unless you're an asshole. Who are you to think that you're saving someone from the heartbreak of not being with you?? Read that again. It's so narcissistic. Get over yourself: you're not the centre of the world, and they will be happier that you ripped the band-aid off instead of pretending there is no band-aid, or lying and saying there never was a band-aid in the first place, while slowly peeling it off. Don't you care about the happiness of this person you care / cared about? They will be fine without you. Yes, it's hard to face that they could be happy - happier, most likely - with someone else, but it's the right thing to do.

8 13Rating: -5

@being a liar

Nov 15, 2020 at 8:38pm

So unless Mr Brimstone asked you personally to cover a shift judging the world you shouldn't act as though he did.

9 7Rating: +2

Re: Honestly, though

Nov 16, 2020 at 6:25am

But part of the difficulty of being honest with the self is not being able to arrive at these realizations or this suggested course of action in a timely and logical way. It may be that the bandaid is not even in the field of conscious perception yet.

7 7Rating: 0

@Honestly

Nov 16, 2020 at 3:24pm

I feel this comment assumes I don't love the person I'm with. I do love the person I'm with, but there is a constant pull at the same time, and it's a pull toward a complete unknown that in all likelihood isn't even reciprocated. Choosing between destroying everything for a near certain nothing or being loved and fighting my thoughts is not much of a choice. Had I known way back then that I would feel this obsession as long as I have...I think I would have taken the risk.

10 7Rating: +3

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