Know it all

Our sister is the world's most annoying person. She always has to be right, which means you always have to be wrong. Whatever you say, she will come back with either "Well, you say that, but..." or "But on the other hand...". If you come prepared with evidence, or quote experts, she'll say she already knew all that, even though up to that point she will have been saying, and doing, the exact opposite. She thinks she knows how to run our lives better than we do (even though we're all functioning adults) and constantly complains about and criticizes us to one another, and her friends, behind our backs. She's 73 - is there any hope whatsoever that we can get her to stop behaving like this at this point? She lives alone, so we don't want to cut her off, but she's driving us crazy.

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Nought a long drive

Nov 20, 2020 at 2:59am

from here to Corny-town

5 10Rating: -5

She won't change...

Nov 20, 2020 at 5:31am

... but be glad you are functional adults and that she is a sister, not a mother. My mother is like this, and it basically crippled myself and a sibling. "I'm going to have a roast beef sandwich," "oh, why not a ham sandwich?" "I'm going to do X" "No, you should do Y." Endlessly. Year after year. And it's not even like her advice is good advice. So, be glad that you haven't been ruined by this sort of woman---I think most people think they're harmless, but the more people I have gotten to know, I can divide people into three groups:

(1) Those without this sort of mother
(2) Those with this sort of mother who get out at 18
(3) Those who stay longer and are basically crippled by it.

Imagine never being able to meet a "friend of your mother's" without them giving you the "oh, you're the little bastards she's always telling us about" look. It's just a living hell.

21 3Rating: +18

Acceptance

Nov 20, 2020 at 7:52am

She sounds like a narcissist and no...she probably will never change. You're going to have to stop caring.

16 9Rating: +7

Ummm

Nov 20, 2020 at 9:02am

If you go into the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders, Vol 5, the official diagnosis for this is "Asshole." Treatment regimen involves staying the hell away from them.

19 7Rating: +12

uknow

Nov 20, 2020 at 11:26am

i have/had a sister like that. havent spoken to her in at least 10 years & dont miss her shit one little bit

19 5Rating: +14

Our 'trying to be human' race

Nov 20, 2020 at 2:04pm

is the world's most annoying evolutionary hominoids. Most of them always has to be right, which means you always have to be wrong. Whatever you say, most of them will come back with either "Well, you say that, but..." or "But on the other hand...". If you come prepared with evidence, or quote experts, many will say they already knew all that, even though up to that point many will have been saying, and doing, the exact opposite. They think they know how to run our lives better than we do (even though we're all functioning adults) and constantly complains about and criticizes us to one another, and there friends, behind our backs. They're 73,000,000 - is there any hope whatsoever that we can get them to stop behaving like this at this point? They live alone between their shoulders, so we don't want to cut them off, but they'r driving us crazy.

7 14Rating: -7

It's Them

Nov 20, 2020 at 3:01pm

"No it isn't. It's Van Morrison", they proudly retort. You can't win with some people but a little sarcasm helps along the way. I can relate to op's frustration. I have a daughter like that, a bbf who's like that and my sister is the most supercilious person in the country. It's them!

7 6Rating: +1

Headphones

Nov 20, 2020 at 6:42pm

The odds of her changing especially at the tender age of 73 are quite slim indeed...yet depending on how strongly you feel, perhaps you can manage her visits rather than eliminate your relationship? .. Afterall she is your sister. However if you find it’s not possible then do the needful and move on so you can enjoy a poisonous free existence while time remains. Limit her visits to short windows of time infrequently. Get some headphones then you can simply listen to something else..allowing you to smile and nod as necessary and let yourself be free of any anxiety or stress that comes with listening. Perhaps suggest she see a counsellor or therapist? Family we’re born to can be so difficult to negotiate. Its best to have clear emotional boundaries to protect your home health. Be well.

10 4Rating: +6

OP@she won't change

Nov 20, 2020 at 11:27pm

That's the thing, our mother was like this too. It's like, when our mother died, as the oldest female, she took over being the family pain in the a$$. I was a number 2 - I got out when I was 17, but I missed out on family stuff with the sane members, so I recently moved back. You are all right, though - I need to limit my exposure to this one.

9 5Rating: +4

She likely won’t change

Nov 21, 2020 at 9:02am

Strong boundaries are the only way to deal with this relationship. I would suggest keeping visits short and do not engage in arguing with her. In my experience with these types of people they want to argue and are bored with their own life so looking to get any kind of reaction to spice up their days. Just treat them like you would an annoying customer at work. Be professional and keep the visits short. A phone call that you can end after 10 minutes will do wonders for your sanity. Plus Dr.B Henry doesn’t want us visiting outside our households so you can use that right now to get you through the holidays.

12 5Rating: +7

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