Mental illness devastation

I’ve had a lot of heartbreak in my life, but the worst I’ve ever experienced is because of a loved one with a severe mental illness. Unless you’ve been on the receiving end of the type of unhinged behaviour directed at you because of that person’s disease, you just have no idea. The level of abuse can be overwhelming. When they’re an adult who also has the capacity to convince others that they’re okay (when they’re very obviously not), you’re left with no choice other than to completely withdraw from their life just to protect yourself. I’ve never felt so helpless. It’s the worst pain that I’ve ever felt and I’m going through my own crises at the same time. How can you help someone who doesn’t think they need it? How do you keep your own sanity when someone that you love with all of your heart and would never do anything to knowingly hurt, tells you that they wish you were dead and sends you terrible and disgusting messages? I’m feeling very close to the edge myself over this, and I really just don’t know what to do or where to turn.


Post a Comment

Mental wellness check

Nov 23, 2020 at 11:38pm

I suppose you can have the police perform a mental wellness check on them. With the way our police are trained chances are they'd end up with the ironic karmatic outcome of wishing someone else was dead.

8 26Rating: -18

You can't save and help everyone

Nov 23, 2020 at 11:42pm

You're responsible for your own mental wellbeing, just like they're responsible for their own. Move on.

Christine Me

Nov 24, 2020 at 12:48am

Please hang in there! You need to protect both them and yourself as well.
Perhaps try contacting someone who can assist you.

Perhaps this website might help?
(Taken from the website:)

If you or someone you know needs help, call one of the numbers below:

9-1-1 if you are in an emergency.
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) if you are considering suicide or are concerned about someone who may be.
310Mental Health Support at 310-6789 (no area code needed) for emotional support, information and resources specific to mental health.
Kid’s Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 to speak to a professional counsellor, 24 hours a day.
Alcohol & Drug Information and Referral Service at 1-800-663-1441 (toll-free in B.C.) or 604-660-9382 (in the Lower Mainland) to find resources and support.

HealthLink BC, your provincial health line, is as close as your phone or the web any time of the day or night, every day of the year.

Call 8-1-1 toll-free in B.C., or for the deaf and hard of hearing, call 7-1-1 or for Video Relay Service, call 604-215-5101.

You can speak with a health service navigator, who can also connect you with a:

registered nurse any time, every day of the year
registered dietitian from 9am to 5pm PT, Monday to Friday
qualified exercise professional from 9am to 5pm PT, Monday to Friday
pharmacist from 5pm to 9am PT, every day of the year
Translation services are available in more than 130 languages.

28 8Rating: +20

I can relate

Nov 24, 2020 at 1:56am

I’ve been dealing with someone for years who is doing this very thing. It is heartbreaking and extremely difficult to walk away from but I’ve tried everything and I don’t see any other way but turning my back.


Nov 24, 2020 at 2:42am

"Dealing with the mentally ill is difficult, so let's not bother and just look after ourselves." Can you imagine if people said the same thing to cancer patients? Neither of them chose to have a disease.
(I'm not addressing the op, but the 2 above posters as well as a significant chunk of our society who seems to think the same).

8 13Rating: -5


Nov 24, 2020 at 4:30am

My brother freaked out bigtime as a teenager from drugs(almost a week in a psycho ward) and since then has more or less been a undiagnosed Schitzoid case.

He's nuts. Now everytime I see tent cities, I look for his tent.

The edge is real

Nov 24, 2020 at 4:53am

sharp. And steep. Ever consider anything anything at all you may be responsible for inspiring such behavior?


Nov 24, 2020 at 7:10am

Why does everyone hate the police?
Are they really that bad and corrupt ?
I thought they would care and help if you were in trouble.
Thats their job right ?
Keep the piece and take care of horrible people that break the law and try to hurt us.
Make us feel safe in our shitty little town here.
I know it would be a hard job dealing with scumbags everyday.
Hard Job !
Great another illusion busted.
Great !!

A fairly common...

Nov 24, 2020 at 8:39am

... thing is that someone who is in a relationship (parent/child, spousal, etc.) tries to convince themselves that the behavior of a loved one is "mental illness" rather than that they have grown apart or are no longer compatible. Mental illness isn't something that someone can hide---so if others don't think they're mentally ill, they probably are not.

The situation I'm describing is what the BC Schizophrenia Society or whatever it is called puts into court and the media every time that the possibility of taking away a (usually) mother's right to take her (usually) son to the hospital for forced medication: it's only right and fitting that these people should be forcibly medicated so that mommy can have her son back, or that you can have whoever it is you love back. But that is simply not where the zeitgeist is, people are free to do what they do.

I am not a lawyer, but afaik telling someone you wish they were dead, as opposed to "I will kill you" could be harassment, if it is done repeatedly.

The vibe I get from you is actually, as I said, a fairly common trope in anti-psychiatry, it comes up in R.D. Laing's 1967 Massey Lecture. The archetypal psychiatric case is a child who hates his father. We are supposed to love dear old dad, so hating dad, wishing he were dead, etc. is obviously a mental illness. Or it could be that not everyone gets along, even if they did in the past, and that people grow apart and that forcing the relationship, especially under the guise of wanting to 'help' someone is a bad idea.

You don't give any indication that this person is diagnosed with a mental illness, from your description, the person sounds like an asshole at most.

You have already answered your own question, cut this person out of your life. In ethics, it is considered unethical to administer medical treatment without consent, and diagnosis is medical treatment.

tldr; if the abuse is physical, you call the police. if the abuse is harassment, e.g. repeated unwanted messages, you call the police. None of this sounds like "severe mental illness" to me so far, it sounds like you have difficulty letting go, frankly.

Join the Discussion

What's your name?