Expectations

This friend of mine is pressuring me to organize a baby shower for her. She hasn’t even asked how I’ve been doing these last 9 months. Daily, I have to maintain my own sanity: unable to see my aging parents, helping out my unemployed single parent sibling, everything in my life being canceled, worrying about my asthmatic kid getting Covid at school. It’s not my job to ensure you get presents for your baby and you’ve made it obvious that’s the only reason you want to see all the girls get together. We’re all dealing with our own sad shit. Organizing a get together for gifts is so low on my priorities and what are we supposed to do anyway, do it outside at a park?

9 Comments

Post a Comment

Covidians

Dec 4, 2020 at 12:09am

It's the new generational term for people who are being born around now, like millenials or boomers. It sort of suggests what we've all been up to for the last nine months. Authorities are expecting a great many births over the Winter. Why don't you take a couple of hours away from all that stress you ranted about and help your friend out? It's the beginning of a new generation.

3 21Rating: -18

There's always one...

Dec 4, 2020 at 5:02am

In every group...

5 3Rating: +2

Oh baby

Dec 4, 2020 at 8:41am

I feel you on all of this. The pandemic has made me truly realize how selfish and clueless people are in so many ways. My life has completely fallen apart because of Covid, yet most people in my life just want to bother me with their drama and barely manage to spit out a "how are you". I'm at the point where I'm avoiding most of them because I do not have the emotional capacity to deal. I don't have any advice, but you are not alone. Baby showers and weddings are honestly the last thing anybody should be worrying about right now.

22 3Rating: +19

Anonymous

Dec 4, 2020 at 11:18am

You can decline! There are those people who think it's unheard of to do so but if you do so kindly, sharing your situation, softening it with love for her and the baby, etc. Depends if they are open to being understanding but a good friend of mine better be!

11 2Rating: +9

Snackster

Dec 4, 2020 at 11:44am

Just say NO. If they are really a good friend, they will respect your refusal.

9 2Rating: +7

Reply

Dec 4, 2020 at 3:36pm

Technically things like baby showers aren't supposed to happen right now due to covid 19. According to the new guidelines, it's not supposed to happen indoors or outdoors. Maybe your friend should do a virtual shower and get people to send things in the mail or just e-transfer the money they would have spent on a gift.

14 2Rating: +12

The gift of life

Dec 4, 2020 at 10:53pm

She doesn't need gifts, she was already blessed with the gift of life and she don't need an award ceremony for getting pregnant.
Nobody wants to go to a covid party and she should be thinking more about keeping her baby safe and healthy than subjecting her pregnant self to the flu.
Tell her you will help arrange something at a more appropriate time in the future. She can wait.

11 1Rating: +10

No Baby Showers Now!

Dec 7, 2020 at 6:20am

A baby shower is not essential!!!
That kind of gathering is exactly what we are NOT supposed to be doing right now! Tell them to read the Provincial Health Orders. Definitely no parties right now and especially something as frivolous as a baby shower! I can’t believe someone thinks a baby shower is a good idea right now, do these people not read the news?

You can send her a gift in the mail and that should be the end of that discussion.

4 0Rating: +4

OP

Dec 29, 2020 at 10:50pm

Update on the baby shower.

I just ignored all pressure to organize it for her. She has then set up the date and time for her own baby shower INDOORS. I have not met any friends indoors since March. Considering my circumstances, and the health restrictions, I’m going to explain that I’m not comfortable attending this indoors and will send a gift.

Thanks for all your comments everyone. It’s been mentally and emotionally hard and I temporarily lost my way in this one. I care about life, parents, babies, children and friends, and the only way to 100% do this right is by being absent.

1 1Rating: 0

Join the Discussion

What's your name?