Motherless in the time of Covid

Here’s comes a controversial thought. I work hard.My profession has been deemed an essential service in this crazy pandemic. So it’s biz as usual. Except, when you have kids. Yes, I get it. It’s an insane pressure to ensure your kids get to school. And dealing with online classes and the disruption to their lives. But here is my problem: as someone who doesn’t have children, I have no ‘out’. It is expected that I can just carry on. That I can handle it all because I have it supposedly easier. I am here to say... it’s not. Between aging parents who need more attention than ever, and the stress of dealing with added work load due to time taken by the people who are parents in my office...the anxiety and depression is almost debilitating. So the next time I hear someone say “oh you have it so much easier”. It may be finally time for me to say- “ No I do not.”

12 Comments

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Cat

Dec 20, 2020 at 10:29am

I feel for you.Everyone is struggling in their own way.I'm an introvert and people tell me all the time how easy it must be for me but I struggle and have days where I feel so depressed.I encourage you to seek some psychological help if you haven't already.We can't judge each other because we really don't know what people are going through in their private lives.

17 2Rating: +15

Boo Hoo

Dec 20, 2020 at 11:44am

Cry me a river....Your parents are still alive and you have a job and likely a house.

Way better off than most people so stop whining and appreciate what you do have.

Yes

Dec 20, 2020 at 12:32pm

I feel for you. It's not a contest, and we're all experiencing the restrictions in subtly different ways. I'm in the same position as you, and it's not the free-for-all lots would have us believe. Hang in there.

18 1Rating: +17

Weigh in

Dec 20, 2020 at 2:11pm

The only way out is if schools close. There are plenty of unemployed people to take your place for a few months while you keep your family (and the rest of us) safe. Half the country is on benefits, join the club.

5 7Rating: -2

A Parent

Dec 20, 2020 at 3:30pm

Imagine being told by the public health official that schools are safe, despite rising numbers of infection. You see teachers stress puking in the parking lot before school, and you know they’re eating in their cars at lunch.
Imagine sending your children to school to sit in unventilated, crowded classrooms without a mask policy. Teachers are dropping like flies and public health is sending out exposure notices 10-14 days after a child is exposed, rendering it useless.

Our health officials lie every day about child transmissions, and even the Premier is being mocked by international scientists after he said kids don’t transmit it. The only reason schools are open is to keep the keep the economy going.

So, sorry you’re about to snap, but put yourself in the shoes of parents who believed the government’s lies and sent their kids to school. There are many in hospitals fighting for the lives. Sorry about your workload.

@a parent

Dec 20, 2020 at 4:24pm

Do what I did. Pull your damn kid out of school.

10 2Rating: +8

jamie76

Dec 20, 2020 at 9:02pm

Oh my gosh - what is stopping you from saying something now? Are you waiting for the 'steam' to blow off the top of your head and do or say something you'd regret? Tell your bosses you're responsible for the care of your ageing parents, and anyone else who is clueless enough to comment just smile and say "I cherish my Mum & Dad, and keeping them safe and well is my priority" (you could throw in a "how long's it been since you called your parents?" just for laughs!) Bottling this up will have a nasty effect on your own mental health & well-being, post something on the workplace/wherever bulletin board saying something along the lines of "It's not just your children that matter - my parents' child(ren) works extra hard to care for them as they did for me/us - and I'll trade you picking up your 4-year-old to put on the toilet over my 200-pound father!"
'Release The Beast' - speak up for yourself!

7 1Rating: +6

jamie76

Dec 20, 2020 at 9:09pm

...or you could just ask the thoughtless people who say "you have it so much easier" to explain what they mean. They'll say "well, you don't have kids" and you say "no, but I have parents who depend on me for shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry, paying bills, etc etc" - if they have ANY brains they'll apologize for assuming you 'do nothing' with your off-the-job time. You are not paid to be the workplace hero by taking on every shift that parents won't, or being at everyone's beck & call - don't feel guilty about doing for yourself on your own time!

13 2Rating: +11

@ a parent

Dec 21, 2020 at 11:04am

Teachers are eating their lunch in the school because they are supervising lunch hour. You don't leave 25 6 yrs olds sitting in the room by themselves.

6 1Rating: +5

Next time they bring up the fact that you don't have kids

Dec 21, 2020 at 3:06pm

Start cying. And then pour your soul out. How you hoped to have kids. That it was the one thing you ever wanted. But life prevented it. Responsibilities were forced on you. Bad relationships. Health problems. Financial and emotional stress. And now it's too late. Make them feel horrible.

5 2Rating: +3

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