Things some men do...

I confess. There are some things that some men do that make me cringe. Such as: putting their hand on my back to “guide” me. As if I can’t manage to get there on my own. Mansplaining topics that are either self-explanatory or otherwise well known. Even worse when they offer advice or opinions on a subject I’m either an expert in myself, or one in which they have NO experience or expertise (and in which I may also have equal knowledge). Assuming that I couldn’t possibly know anything about things like construction or mechanics, when in fact I’ve had more experience with both of those things than they have! It’s 2020. One would think that by now more males would know that females are much more accomplished and experienced in many matters that fall outside of traditional “female” roles. To those males who are still trapped in the previous century, please educate yourselves and stop behaving like an imbecile.

25 Comments

Post a Comment

Agree, but

Dec 3, 2020 at 11:55pm

I'm completely with you on this, but you can't blame men for getting mixed messages. A lot of women seem to still want men to take the "man's" role, and even manipulate them into it. My sister's husband just died and now she's clueless because she made him take care of all the finances/technical stuff/home maintenance. She freely admits she just couldn't be bothered to do it, so now she's hooped. The same thing happened with my mom - you'd think she would have learned from that!

25 5Rating: +20

You're not the standard

Dec 4, 2020 at 1:07am

For every woman like the OP, there are just as many who aren't. The back thing I get, that's antiquated, but the knowledge aspect is a toss up. Sometimes people make the "judgment" based on other aspects besides your gender, such as how you present yourself, your vocabulary, your attention span, your attitude and while you come across as off-puttingly arrogant in this instance, you might come across as glib or flighty, betraying your intelligence. Your defensiveness doesn't help your cause.
As someone who's been at the receiving end of condescending misandry, being misunderstood isn't gender-specific. Nor is how one chooses to respond, which is something you should consider.

All too familiar

Dec 4, 2020 at 4:07am

“Mansplaining topics that are either self-explanatory or otherwise well known.”

I hear that. Do they even hear themselves when they go on these rants from their positions of privilege?

Stud finder

Dec 4, 2020 at 5:52am

Some guys may be trying to impress you or demonstrate the value they could add to your life, particularly if they sense your independence and the fact that you don’t necessarily “need” them around.

Others may be insistent on holding all the power due to their own insecurities and will never let you shine in the ways you want to shine. If you sense that is the case, plan your exit strategy now.

10 8Rating: +2

Uhhhh huh?

Dec 4, 2020 at 6:41am

Was this just not femsplaining though? I feel like everyone has to try just a little here.

Maybe I’m old school...

Dec 4, 2020 at 6:44am

Personally I think it’s nice if a guy were to “guide” me the way you mentioned. Obviously they know I’m capable of walking but it’s just a simple gesture to say I care about you and it always feels nice to feel safe like that.

As for mansplaining I can understand. For me it all depends on how they react. If they talk about a topic and I say hey I actually know a lot about that, the convo can go one of two ways. If they’re actually impressed because they didn’t know I was knowledgeable about that and we can have a discussion as equals then great! If they take it as an affront to their masculinity and feel the need to show that they know soo much more than me then I’m out.

Everyone wants to feel like they’re good at something and help someone else. Yes, we shouldn’t be forced into gender roles but reality is that a lot more guys than girls know about mechanics. That’s one thing they have so if it makes a guy feel good to help you fix your car then I say let him!

A male of the human species talking to say:

Dec 4, 2020 at 9:29am

Its time (past time actually) for us to look into our ancestral memory and remember when we all sat in the circle, and everyone had their say; but if a decision could not be reached; the Grandmas had the last say; because they are the bearers of life. Look what us wacko men have done to this planet. OCZM Sto:lo salutations

"guiding"

Dec 4, 2020 at 12:08pm

It's actually a display of possession, for the other men around who might be looking.

14 5Rating: +9

@OP and "Guiding"

Dec 4, 2020 at 2:06pm

Actually the back touching is something different.

Maybe you should look up what it actually means before being offended and assuming he wants to control you.
The problem is with your perception.

8 11Rating: -3

@OP

Dec 4, 2020 at 2:09pm

So when women touch my back in a show of affection, am I supposed to assume they want to guide me- as if I can’t manage to get there on my own?

7 7Rating: 0

Join the Discussion

What's your name?