Sometimes when I read the content of these threads I think to myself: These people are not mature enough or competent enough to be in relationships with themselves let alone others.
There ought to be litmus tests for people who want to hook up for more than a weekend.

heals

He was definitely trying to hurt you. I know that right now it’s too fresh, but eventually you’ll realize that him telling you this is a good thing. It should reinforce for you that separation is the right thing to do, because being in a relationship with such an ass**** will just bring you down.

That sounds awful and, unfortunately, not surprising considering so many partners tend to disassociate into escapist wormholes when they are called upon to be emotionally present. The triangulation after the fact is the icing on the douche cake.

You sound like a strong and amazing mama bear who deserves the world. Cut the ties you need to and go forth. You’re in good company.

But they're on "a journey" and "working on themselves" with a therapist.

that he's been feeling guilty about it all this time and finally couldn't keep it to himself any longer. So he self-indulgently dumped it on you. Or he was trying to blow up the relationship by telling you something he knew you couldn't tolerate. Either way, you're better off without him.

You are winning. He is trying to throw you off balance, make you anxious, hesitate and anything that else that could aid him in future dealings with you.
I like the word “adorable”....oh thats adorable, you think you can hurt me. Or I’m so sad for you if feel you need to say things like that.

He sounds like a selfish creep.

It takes new parents a bit of time to adjust to the responsibility sometimes. Just be sure to give sufficient (not absolute) weight to staying together for the kids.

What would a litmus test indicate for an soon to be ex husband who doesn't want someone he's abused gaining emotional strength and support, I wonder.