I am an Asshole

I have known this for a long time now I try to be as nice as possible at all times but in some situations I can not help myself. The one who takes the brunt of this behaviour is my wife. I am very ashamed of this and I wish I could someday make it right but I don’t think I will ever be able to. She deserves way better treatment than I’m able to provide at times.


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Acknowledgement is the first step

Jan 11, 2021 at 9:30pm

so good on you as you are obviously starting to take a good look at yourself but, suggest take it easy and don't let the guilt control you. We all have a shadow side. Where the light is bright the shadow is dark. Carl Jung spoke about transformation is not about forcing change on ourselves but about outgrowing the old.

How many years have you been together?

Jan 11, 2021 at 10:34pm

And why do you think you're an asshole?
I mean you didn't start out that way did you? Were you an asshole little kid? Or did you have a bad experience? Uncle fucked you?
Hung out with groups of people who respected people who were good at put downs?
When/How did it start?

Hot take

Jan 12, 2021 at 1:18am

Ask her?

1 6Rating: -5


Jan 12, 2021 at 9:52am

If you actually care about not being an asshole to your wife, there are loads of counsellors who could help. The fact that you seem to so readily accept that you can't change how you treat her is a huge red flag. It's like you don't want to put in the work. Anyone who wants to change can.

26 4Rating: +22


Jan 12, 2021 at 10:04am

See, this is upvote worthy. The poster is showing self awareness. I'm sure everyone will dump on him though

7 15Rating: -8


Jan 12, 2021 at 11:06am

Stop being an asshole then. You recognize you are, you're treating your wife horribly and she's somehow still with you, and you're not kind with others. she could leave you anytime....

You can change IF you want to. Get counseling for yourself and as a couple so she can heal and decide on whether to stay with you or not. Far too many women stay in awful relationships due to abuse, kids and financial issues, low self esteem and so much more. When you know better, you do better. (Hopefully...)

23 1Rating: +22

Yes you are

Jan 12, 2021 at 11:35am

Finally admitted. Bravo. Hope you'll be nicer to your wife. If not maybe your wife will call for help. Or one of the neighbours you're not so nice to either will for her, if they haven't already. I'm sure we're all getting sick of your abuse. It hasn't been a joke to anyone but you.

14 3Rating: +11

Just because you realize it...

Jan 12, 2021 at 1:48pm

...doesn't make it right or okay! Actions are everything. Work on yourself so you're nice to the only person to whom it really counts, or don't be surprised if she doesn't stick around.

14 3Rating: +11

Im sure

Jan 12, 2021 at 3:51pm

you think of yourself as really smart as well. The most confident people are often the worst/dumbest people.

13 2Rating: +11


Jan 12, 2021 at 7:04pm

May I have her phone number? It's time that she dealt with a decent human being. It doesn't cost a dime to be nice.

16 2Rating: +14

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