Bad Move

I’ve never been on a date with someone I just met and thought is cute and have a crush on. I asked my crush out on a date recently. The answer was no. I even gifted a flower in Valentine’s Day. They expressed they weren’t interested. I feel stupid and I’m never doing that again. I can’t stop thinking about how stupid they must think I am even though they probably aren’t thinking about me at all. Ouch. I know I sound 12 but embarrassingly I’m pushing 40. I feel pathetic.


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Feb 26, 2021 at 1:12am

It's just a numbers game. Hopefully your standards aren't unreasonably high and you crush on many people (although at your age using the word crush IS a bit embarrassing). Eventually, the attraction will work both ways. Don't give up and good luck!

22 9Rating: +13

Im proud of you

Feb 26, 2021 at 2:25am

at least you tried

48 4Rating: +44

Don’t worry

Feb 26, 2021 at 3:29am

As a hetero woman I will tell you that I’ve never thought that a guy was stupid if he was attracted to me and let me know it. That includes those men that I wasn’t interested in. In fact, I’ve always admired the men who had the guts to approach (in a respectful manner of course) a woman in whom they’re interested. It takes confidence, and that is an attractive quality. Unfortunately there are women who will be rude to a man who asks her out when she’s not interested. Ignore those types. Rude people are rude people, so you wouldn’t want to be with her anyway!

50 1Rating: +49


Feb 26, 2021 at 5:34am

and one never knows how things work out. I did that flower thing myself one time and got no real response until about 2 years later but then I wasn't interested in her any more. ha

9 1Rating: +8

@ Honestly

Feb 26, 2021 at 6:58am

“although at your age using the word crush IS a bit embarrassing”

LOL so you’re saying that there is a certain age where people no longer feel butterflies for other people?

OP feel your feelings without shame and don’t listen to the judgers. Crushes are valid at any age.

34 2Rating: +32

There is information (books, sites)

Feb 26, 2021 at 7:01am

where you can learn how to tell if someone finds you attractive (how to differentiate between friendly or flirty), but are you willing to spend the time to learn it?

5 19Rating: -14

@ Honestly

Feb 26, 2021 at 8:09am

Agreed, except the part about 40 being too old for "crushing." Nah.
That word is good for as long as it happens to people, and it can happen until we are seriously old, not just 40. That's when I had the biggest crush of my life. Prime time!

24 1Rating: +23

Try again

Feb 26, 2021 at 8:54am

You cannot give up on the first try, try in a different way or with another person.

12 1Rating: +11


Feb 26, 2021 at 9:06am

to vulnerability and bravery! She is just one of many crushes to be had. Don't view it as rejection, but rather, a difference of taste and opinion, and we're all entitled to that. It is not a reflection on you as a person. But cheers OP - to being brave and vulnerable by putting yourself out there! Not many people would, and life is made of these small moments of triumphs even though it may not seem like it now.

27 1Rating: +26


Feb 26, 2021 at 9:32am

is important, while always keeping self-respect, and respect for others.

15 1Rating: +14

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