What else can you do?

My mother deserted the family when I was a young teenager, then insisted on keeping her married name so she could retain any benefit associated with once having been around.

She was also, for good measure a backbiting, mean hearted, money worshiping bitch and once she died it soon became apparent that I didn't miss her - not even a teeny tiny little bit.

Unless you are waiting for an inheritance, why wait? Cut ties now.

Whoa, brutal.

If you haven’t been yet, you might find the subreddit “Raised By Narcissists” relevant to your struggles

I could say bad things too. But who am I? She raised five kids while pops was in a cubicle the entire day, paying the bills. But I truly believe she tried her best. I don’t think I could have done what she did. Based on her abusive father I can’t blame
her. I did in my teens... she’s now mellowed out, still has the occasional rant. Show me a mother who had it easy? Add hormones... She did the absolute best she could. I finally know that in my heart. All we can try to do is break the cycle of abuse. Hurt people hurt people. But not all hurt people hurt people. It’s not an excuse to continue that behaviour.

If it were me, I'd simply make certain to always drink alcohol whenever in her presence.

That way whatever she said wouldn't register.

Oh... it registers. And manifests into murder. Please don’t try that!

She is not your friend but your mother. Maybe not ideal mother but mother nonetheless. She will get older and you will miss her when she passes away.

my grandma. Always brings up depressing stories about the past and talks about how she wants to die, since I was a kid. It’s really tough having a person like this around. I wish you strength.