Not crazy

about sex. I just don’t really crave it all that much. I do get horny and masturbate occasionally when the mood strikes, so I wouldn’t say that I’m asexual or low libido. I just don’t really like doing it with a man (I’m a heterosexual woman). I’ve had quite a few boyfriends and mostly I always felt like sex was more for them and we never really connected that well sexually. It was always like even my pleasure was for them to turn them on and reassure them that they’re ‘good in bed.’ So I faked a lot of orgasms.

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understood

Feb 17, 2021 at 9:16pm

but ..

7 2Rating: +5

kramer

Feb 17, 2021 at 9:26pm

oh yeah, me too.

11 5Rating: +6

Al Know it All

Feb 17, 2021 at 9:44pm

Well you are at least a thoughtful and kind lady. Usually just laying there like a sack of potatoes is good enough and appreciated I'm sure.
The keys to the city for you.

Yeah well...

Feb 17, 2021 at 9:50pm

That's just how it is when you give yourself to someone you're not really connected with. I don't know why you would expect something different.

18 9Rating: +9

Did You Even

Feb 17, 2021 at 10:03pm

Read what you typed?
"and we never really connected that well sexually. "
Then "So I faked a lot of orgasms."

So you led the guys on to believe they were doing a good job,and yet you're confused.
That's on you.

just

Feb 17, 2021 at 10:16pm

get married and you will not have to worry about having sex any more.

Anonymous

Feb 17, 2021 at 10:17pm

If I were you i'd be a lot less easy for men to screw.

It sounds like you first give it away cheap, then regret it later on.

You’re right

Feb 17, 2021 at 10:58pm

As a heterosexual male it’s hard not to come before the female comes. I do feel bad that my partner is left out if she doesn’t come but it’s not like she comes with a manual and communication around the thing is difficult. Even when trying it’s difficult to see if it all worked. Strange that this very common and intriguing thing also has to be awkward at times...

Unfortunately

Feb 18, 2021 at 2:08am

I think this is pretty common and yes it has a lot to do with men being selfish sexually. Especially in previous generations. It is confusing for women as you probably felt connected to them in other ways but just couldn’t seem to get into a good rhythm. It’s not your fault.

Are we all just quietly faking?

Feb 18, 2021 at 3:06am

I am also a heterosexual female (32) who has never had a high sex-drive or that "urge" of horniness. I have had a few adult relationships lasting 2+ years including my current relationship with a man I was friends with for 10 years before we started dating (mentioning this because I want to make it clear that romantic connection exists with a strong foundation and that sex is not the determining factor). All my exes, both long and short term, had high sex-drives (or normal, maybe?) meaning they were ready to go any time and were not shy to show it. I've never craved sex, I don't get much out of the experience and I'm never "in the mood" really, but I've had a lot of sex with plenty of men. I "faked it" mostly when I was a teenager because I thought it would help me enjoy the experience more but stopped pretending when I was nearing 20 as I am able to get-off with a partner (not through P in V sex) but even having an orgasm isn't enough to motivate me to REALLY WANT to do it. I've found that my partners always seemed to need me to "seem like I'm really into it and getting pleasure" to climax so I do play it up a bit with what I say and how I move my body so they get done faster (bad, I know). I just always assumed I was in a small minority of women who are otherwise sexually healthy but had a low libido for no explainable reason - it's not a "natural lube" issue, it's not a pain issue, it's not an inability to climax issue, it's not a mental focus/inability to relax issue (maybe subconsciously it is?)...All I know is I'm lucky to have a partner with a higher sex-drive than mine that "just wants to touch me all the time" (his words) also respects me by allowing me the space to speak comfortably about how I feel sexually; he doesn't complain about lacking sex, but he is sure to mention, kindly and patiently, everyday how much he loves when we have sex.
I just don't know how to get myself in the mood.

14 7Rating: +7

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