Thirty plus years later

Way back in the 80s, I met this guy who placed a personal ad in this paper. I mean this was way before the internet. He put his number in the ad to call. It started with 588 so I figured he lived close by. I called him because my best friend and my boyfriend were sleeping together and I felt alone. We connected and it wasn't love at first sight but we ended up together. He was kind and loving but I couldn't accept that and moved on. But we kept in touch for over thirty years but he never told his wife. My dad died in January and around the same time his wife found out we had always been in touch through a couple of postcards he still had. So all I feel is loss. I know it was all wrong but I miss him and I miss my dad and I have to figure out how to say good bye when I cant reach him anymore. So I put on Tori Amos and cried my eyes out and offered up this to the universe. This is where we met and this is where I can say good bye. I will always love you MIchawoo. See you on the other side...

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Grieving

Feb 27, 2021 at 9:56am

is natural. You are good people. Walk on and help yourself thru helping others. You'll be fine ........ OCM Sto'lo salutations

10 3Rating: +7

Cat

Feb 27, 2021 at 5:55pm

I'm so sorry for your loss.It's such a huge loss and my heart pours out to you.I just have to say that if a guy lies to his wife for 30 years,he's not an honorable individual and perhaps it's time to let that go and find some healing.

11 3Rating: +8

Anonymous

Feb 27, 2021 at 7:11pm

"He was kind and loving but I couldn't accept that and moved on."
Well, being alone serves you right, then. You had it coming.
We live in swipe culture and those who live closest to the culture get the disease the hardest. They treat people as disposable; like toilet paper.
They'll keep books they've read and know so well, but living with another person for a lifetime is seen as 'limiting oneself'. They love animals who do all the very same things they find loathsome in others (neediness, dependency, laziness) then, after decades of treating other humans as 'useless' (ie: not making *you* happy every minute of every day) they decide that only a mammal who can't talk back or disagree is the only living thing that will tolerate their company. So they get cats. Or many dogs.

This is the stupidity of Western culture. All it reveals is your own shallowness. Expecting other people to provide you with happiness is to be an adolescent for a lifetime.
Maybe you finally grew up, and now it's too late.
You drank the Kool Aid of "empowerment" and "freedom" and now you find that responsibility for yourself and accountability to yourself was what you valued most. That your feelings were all on you all along. Oops. That maybe growing old with someone was worth it for the opportunity to learn about yourself.
But you chose not to.
You swiped left.
And you kept swiping.
But now it's too late.
Serves you right.
Only criminals and the crooked have to keep moving in life.
Keep swiping left. See what it gets you.

6 14Rating: -8

@Anonymous

Feb 27, 2021 at 9:50pm

Hmmnnn...project much? You’ve made so many assumptions in your comment that I won’t even bother to try to respond to each of them. The fact is that you don’t know the Op’s situation whatsoever. You don’t know why they couldn’t accept the guy’s love. You’re assuming it’s because the Op is some terrible and shallow person, but I actually interpreted it completely differently. I assumed it was because the Op was likely abused as a child and therefore did not know how to cope with anyone treating them well. When you’re an abused child, you learn not to trust anyone. Perhaps we’re both wrong, but we’ll never know because neither of us is the Op, right? The fact is that the Op had some type of relationship with this married guy who clearly was no saint because he was cheating on his wife. Regardless, the Op is sad that this relationship has come to an end, so why don’t you just stop with all your judgement and allow them to express their grief?

5 4Rating: +1

Mitcha Mitcha Mitcha

Feb 28, 2021 at 5:17am

None of this would have happened if you had just listened to Kate Bush and followed the coded message

1 1Rating: 0

Pen Pal

Feb 28, 2021 at 4:03pm

I had a pen pal for over 20 years. I had to cut him off recently because he kept hitting on me. He would tell me of his dreams and fantasies. I was in a relationship and so was he. I asked him to stop multiple times and he wouldn’t. I can’t be close with someone who doesn’t respect my boundaries. I know your situation is different and I’m sorry you’ve had to cut that off. Perhaps you can send a message for him to open a P.O. Box so you can write letters. Just a suggestion.

2 2Rating: 0

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