Waiting

I'm wasting my whole life waiting. Waiting for my partner to come home on my day off so we can have yet another boring evening. Waiting until another shift at work starts, to make money that one day I can spend on travel. Finishing another worthless degree so that the future can be better. Waiting for my partner to realize I'm not feeling great so she can give me a cuddle and tell me it'll be okay. Lying in bed waiting for the day to end hoping the next one will be better. What a pathetic life I choose to live.

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Talk

Feb 19, 2021 at 8:06pm

Talk to them, tell them how you feel and what you need, go to counseling together. Everyone is struggling mentally and not everyone is lucky enough to be healthy enough to work, will ever have a good partner etc.

Life is short. I've dealt with significant adversity my entire life in every area of my life and continue to find purpose, meaning, any reason to live when I have none due to significant chronic health issues mental and physical trying everything under the sun and worsening....

I get so frustrated with able bodied people, you have no idea how lucky you are. When you lose your health, you lose everything.... I wouldn't wish this life on anyone. To be able to work, go back to school, have some kind of dream, have a partner, to have a normal life, I'd kill for that!

Just this year, I've been in and out of hospital for awful issues, treatments, recovering from one surgery, and awaiting a major serious operation with a long recovery time that's if I survive. All while being immunocompromised and any infection being serious for me. I don't know if I'll make it. It's really put things into perspective and face my mortality. It's awful.

You can change things, you can get help, talk to your partner, follow your passion. You only live once, and it can be taken from you in an instant. Talk, communicate, make difficult changes for a better future. At least you have that choice...

Awareness is the first step OP

Feb 19, 2021 at 11:04pm

I'm sorry you got so many down votes, no doubt by people who are upset that you're writing about having boring evenings with your partner.
Hang in there, you will be able to travel again eventually. But more importantly, will you be able to keep living the "normal" life of relationship, job, & bills? Figure that out first.

9 8Rating: +1

Man from P.A.T.H.E.T.I.C.

Feb 19, 2021 at 11:14pm

Patience And Telepathic Happyness Equal Triumph In Cozyness. Pa-chhh. I'm here all week

6 6Rating: 0

Digital Nomading

Feb 20, 2021 at 12:42am

You sound like an adult in Vancouver, except you're not pretending it's so much better than it is. I was watching a video what a short term service apartment would cost per month, in Bangkok. $850 cad with a gym and a pool. I lived in Tokyo, and I could do everything in Bangkok that I could do in Tokyo at half the price. Can you work from your PC? When COVID-19 is over I'm moving to Chiang Mai where the prices are 20% lower than Bangkok. And no, I have no interest in sex tourism, there's more to that region than that sh#t. Choose life, and relocate to an interesting country with a rich culture, a proper city and work from your laptop.

@talk

Feb 20, 2021 at 1:59am

You are so right. Luckily, when I was able bodied I did most of the things I wanted to do, so at least when I became sick I had no regrets. Life is too precious to waste on being bored. Even now I'm severely restricted by my health (and way before covid), I still actively look for things that make me happy and engaged. The OP can't look to others to make them happy.

5 2Rating: +3

Anonymous

Feb 20, 2021 at 2:44am

This sounds like life.

4 2Rating: +2

First-world problems

Feb 20, 2021 at 9:03am

Just worked 100 hours in 11 days. With an additional 75min commute time per day.
At night because shift differential of 50 cents.
Just to make rent and have cash left to maintain my car to...go to work. New tires are not an option.

So, yeah. My sympathies to your terrible plight.
Applying to remote jobs whenever I get enough sleep that my brain works. Would love to stop doing this crap and make decent money, then I'll do more online gig work and biz to get out of here.
The dude with the Thailand plan has the right idea, except mine is several thousand miles south of Van. Asia isn't my bag - too crowded.

If you don't know what you really want, you'll take whatever comes along, forever. Really want your next several decades to look like that?
If no... Sort yourself out.

10 5Rating: +5

Anonymous

Feb 20, 2021 at 10:31am

Not as pathetic as rating self validation and balancing scores on an anonymous website. You're doing better than them.

5 5Rating: 0

Hurry up...

Feb 20, 2021 at 2:45pm

...And wait! Life's true motto.

1 0Rating: +1

Pick up

Feb 20, 2021 at 3:22pm

Some books in " mindfulness" so you can learn to enjoy the moment. Also it sounds like you're a exteronizer who is "waiting" for others to make " you life" more interesting. You have the choice & power to make a difference in your life. Not knowing anything about your life but a) you have a job . b) you have a partner. Two very important things many don't have!

7 9Rating: -2

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