Feeling Used

Early 2020, it felt like I was "in this together" with an old friend of the opposite sex before the pandemic broke out. We found some common ground after my friend had some bad luck on Tinder. Then bad luck at work. Then health problems. It drained me but I was supportive. Then they sort of disappeared. Turns out they hooked up on Tinder again. I feel used as a surrogate, burned and kind of alone, and that the friendship was false.

10 Comments

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Anonymous

Mar 5, 2021 at 7:53pm

so you're the guy in the story i assume.
you like her, she likes your company...then she shows she's seeing other guys (choosing them over you)...and now you're hurt.
i've been there. i called her a (rhymes with witch) and secretly peed on her armchair. hopefully you make better choices.

@anonymous

Mar 5, 2021 at 8:22pm

Are you still on about this? It’s been years dude. Move on.

I actually assumed that the Op was female.

Op @ anon

Mar 5, 2021 at 8:30pm

Nope. Mostly it was a case of me being there when my friend had problems but when I had my own isolation-related ones and needed support I was not extended the same treatment. I know friendships aren't supposed to be transactional but are a still a two way street to some degree.

I remember that guy

Mar 5, 2021 at 9:02pm

The peeing on the chair thing..
Don't take advice from this guy.

That sucks, OP

Mar 5, 2021 at 9:05pm

You are right to feel used and you deserve better. The Tinder-bewitched are tough to be present with. Stick with the peeps who don’t make you feel like a drained corpse.

Common scenario

Mar 5, 2021 at 11:06pm

This happens to me time and time again. It's really frustrating because I seem incapable of learning which people to steer clear of. The users are very good at convincing you that they're there for you too, but when you need them - pouff! They're gone.

Dates will do that

Mar 6, 2021 at 9:49pm

It feels good at first sure but little by little...
afore you know it ...crusty husk

4 4Rating: 0

Cat

Mar 7, 2021 at 5:34pm

There's a famous saying"No one can take advantage of you without your permission".Maybe discover why you allowed yourself to be "used".

4 6Rating: -2

OP

Mar 8, 2021 at 7:13am

Reminder; it was a platonic friendship (we live in different cities) but my friend disappeared once they got someone's attention.

4 5Rating: -1

Lower expectations

Mar 9, 2021 at 6:37am

Single friends who actively date will drop you the moment they have a relationship. Friends in couples will not have time to really be there when you need them. Only if you're in a relationship will you have someone who has your back, and that's only if the relationship is a good one.
Even dogs run away sometimes.
Make lots of money. At least you can buy the care you need when you need it.
Don't expect much from the people in your life. You will be let down without fail.

4 2Rating: +2

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