I haven't told my wonderful boyfriend

Everybody who is close to me knows that I was diagnosed with autism at a very young age, and my parents used it to deny me personhood and adulthood. I wasn't even allowed to date during my 30's. My boyfriend (my first) knows that there was abuse and that I'm no-contact. But he doesn't know my parents' rationale for the abuse. Maybe he doesn't need to know. There's too much good in this life to dwell on my past.

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It's interesting...

Mar 20, 2021 at 8:56pm

... I was told I was autistic, I never believed it, and then I had to go to the doctor about something involving my mother who was the one who spearheaded the whole issue. Anyway, this doctor, having talked to both of us, actually asked to see me again (unheard of) and said "you don't seem autistic, your mother is abnormal."

I mean, I was pretty shocked, that's technically unethical, but I think she realized my abnormal mother wasn't going to be complaining, she doesn't know how.

So, remember, diagnoses like autism are often about "helping" women who are not cut out for childcare---the original hypothesis, the "refrigerator mother" (which is NOT universally discredited despite what US academics say), when I read about that, that's my mom to a T. It's shameful we diagnose kids in instead of mothers.

As for telling people you're autistic, I recommend against it, I have never had it work out well. If people are decent, they're going to treat you decently anyway. Anyone who needs to be told you're autistic to treat you properly is an asshole and telling them won't help unless it's, like, a government employee about whom you can complain to the human rights tribunal. And even that, who wants to do that, these people aren't mean to "autistic" people intentionally, they're just vicious herd animals.

11 2Rating: +9

Anonymous

Mar 20, 2021 at 9:47pm

How do you have a boyfriend if you have no theory of mind, and don't realize that other people have feelings?

(Before you thumb down my comment, ask yourself the definition of an autistic person).

7 12Rating: -5

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