I’m finally getting it!

posted March 22nd, 2021 at 5:10 PM

I confess: I’m a little slow on the uptake. It’s just now occurred to me that my boyfriend has been completely playing me when it comes to his financial contribution to our relationship. Instead of him paying for his fair share of the expenses I incur because we spend 100% of our time at my place (we don’t live together) and he doesn’t pay for anything except buying a few groceries (not even close to half of what he actually uses), instead he “gifts” me money for other things. For example, instead of him paying a percentage of rent, food and sundries, utilities, etc, he’ll just randomly give me some money for a specific purpose. Such as “for gas”, or a specific clothing item. That way he gets to regularly find ways to bring his “largesse” into the conversation, as if he’s done me this huge favour and he can see himself as such a generous and good guy. I can’t believe that it’s taken me this long to truly understand this.

40 Comments

Ew

Mar 22, 2021 at 5:57pm

DTMFA

He sounds pathetic.

Glad you woke up finally.

It's ok!

Mar 22, 2021 at 6:02pm

50% of the world behaves this way.

They were made for each other and they can abuse each other.

I wish they'd leave the normal authentic people alone.

Good For Him

Mar 22, 2021 at 7:33pm

The first info that women go after on the first date or in meeting online, is trying to ascertain his socio-economic status.

@op

Mar 22, 2021 at 7:44pm

Sounds like a great guy. He is trying but needs to hear your expectations. People are not psychic. Who knows. Maybe you're rich and it really doesn't matter.

Anonymous

Mar 22, 2021 at 8:32pm

You think your boyfriend should pay rent for visiting you LOL

So happy I am not him.

You...

Mar 22, 2021 at 8:33pm

should install a time punch machine at the front door so you can charge him by the hour.

Lame

Mar 22, 2021 at 9:01pm

That's nothin my X just won't leave.

Discerning

Mar 22, 2021 at 9:06pm

Isn't it great when you realize you don't have to financially support a man? I've been doing my relationships all wrong too.

The largesse has entered the chat

Mar 22, 2021 at 9:17pm

Didn’t you post about this a few months ago? I thought you ended up breaking up with him for being a cheapskate or something.

Op

Mar 22, 2021 at 9:48pm

Okay so let me get this straight...you guys who think that it’s acceptable for you to spend all of your time with your girlfriend at her place, but pay none of the expenses, think that this is in some way fair? So you really think that I’m being unreasonable? Wtf? Seriously? How delusional are you? I pay for EVERYTHING. The rent. The heat, the internet, cable, and phone. The insurance. I buy 90% of the groceries. He’s here anywhere from 40 to 60 % of the time. We never ever go to his place. I mean, NEVER. We don’t anything else, such as go out for dinner or trips or movies; literally ANYTHING, and this has been the situation long before Covid. So he spends almost nothing on our relationship, but he gets to enjoy all of the benefits of the place that I pay for entirely. Plus it’s a very nice place to spend time in. I do all the housework, at least half of the cooking, 99% of the shopping for supplies, and 99% of the driving if we do (rarely) actually go somewhere else. I’m absolutely shocked that any rational person would think that I’m the unreasonable person in this scenario.