Life Updates

I never wanted to have a kid. I never understood the aura around marriage and weddings. But I watched as the people I knew all got married. I saw their life updates when they had a child. Now they are all starting to separate or divorce. It all seems painful and dramatic and expensive to me. I think I made the right choices not doing these things but by not participating in the usual life course I am kind of excluded from social circles with those who are 'normal.'

29 Comments

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Not all marriages end in divorce

Mar 30, 2021 at 6:01pm

Sure , if 50 % do , then 50% don't. I know a lot of happily married people. It's important to marry for the right reasons . Maybe your friends didn't.

All of the...

Mar 30, 2021 at 6:10pm

... people I know whose marriages are intact are in relationships where the woman makes more, so she'd take a pay cut to divorce.

If the opposite is true, they often split, that's just what the statistics show. Money is the #1 cause of divorce, and if you don't get more money/control by divorcing, why do it?

I think part of the problem is that lots of parents (moms usually) go into "mom mode" and you can't be "weird" around their kids.

Just a girl

Mar 30, 2021 at 6:15pm

Yes ....you have made the right choice.....
No such thing as " normal" anymore !

23 5Rating: +18

Good for you

Mar 30, 2021 at 6:18pm

Whether you want to have kids or or not is your personal choice. No one has a right to tell you what to do and if people look at you differently just because you have no interest in having children of your own, then that’s their problem. Whatever you do is nobody’s business but your own. Just ignore them and live your life for you.

30 4Rating: +26

Anonymous

Mar 30, 2021 at 6:35pm

As someone who divorced relatively young without children, it was the most difficult thing I've ever done. We still loved one another, but it just wasn't working. We broke up once before but tried to make it work like some couples do, but we were from different countries and different cultures. I couldn't'd imagine how much more difficult it would be with a child. So glad we didn't have a kid thinking it would save the relationship. That's a cliché couple sometimes choose, sadly and now a child has to deal with divorce.

Studies show that the longer you wait in life to get married, the more likely that relationship will survive. Something to think about.

26 6Rating: +20

You don't want to risk being normal

Mar 30, 2021 at 6:49pm

in an abnormal world so you cling to subnormality. But no worries. You can be invisible in the 'Brave New World' with marriage outlawed and test-tube reproduction providing the minimum wage labour froce that the cyber robots don't yet provide ............ ps: read this while you can as it will soon be ground up as an ingredient in your 'Soylent Green' lunch.

Anonymous

Mar 30, 2021 at 7:38pm

In other words you live in a declining civilization that has life events like weddings losing value, as that civilization heads for the toilet.

You're welcome.

Eliza Orenchuk

Mar 30, 2021 at 8:55pm

I totally agree w/you. My husband and I were musicians and we could barely take care of ourselves let alone a kid. We broke up, we're still friends, but never had kids, didn't want them; gave everything for music. People say I'm selfish but I think I was practical; didn't want to be a welfare Mom with 5 kids living off the govt and trying to live my life through my kids. It wasn't for me and if people can't accept my decision tough....at least I still play music. Don't let anyone put you down for not having kids, not getting married, my 2 marriages ended badly and thank goodness I have no kids to take care of....

40 4Rating: +36

Not Quite a Geezer

Mar 30, 2021 at 9:25pm

You continue doing you. I think it's good to question if societal norms are right for you personally. I, for instance, loved kids, but never had them myself, and I've never regretted my decision, because I have prioritized relationships with kids of friends and families. I have had a ton of fun, soaked up the love, and - helped out lots of frazzled parents by giving them a break now and then.
The only thing that really matters in life is the relationships you have with people and animals and the natural world. I am at the beginning of the later stages of my life, and I am seemingly surrounded by people unexpectedly dying or getting cancer and that's going to continue and increase until I croak myself. So...I advise you stay in the moment as much as possible, focus on spreading love in your relationships, and toughen up because i think later is the hardest part. That's the key to a happy life.

29 3Rating: +26

Anonymous

Mar 30, 2021 at 10:21pm

I feel you. I have not been excluded but it is a bit weird as I don't do well around kids and there isn't much to talk about anymore. Pre-covid that is. If you wanted them you would have some natural gravitation towards them. but no regrets, continue education, hobbies and developing a unreal life of your own.

13 7Rating: +6

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