Shame

I just found out my husband has been looking at pornography on the internet since he was 12 years old. He has never told me about this ever. I understand the need before you are married but after you should have no need for this. I don't understand why he felt the need to keep this a secret for so long. I don't even know who I married.

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To contrast

Mar 13, 2021 at 3:42pm

I had someone have the same basic view of me. They had been divorced a few times and always were the instigator of leaving and always for another person. I was just another in the line, and eventually they left me for someone else. But it was their need for purity from me that always struck me. I was upfront from the start and understood their past. yet to the edge of the world and back, me finding other woman attractive ever, was the worst thing that ever happened to them.

12 4Rating: +8

Then

Mar 13, 2021 at 4:07pm

You probably shouldn’t even stay with this person if this is what’s going on. If he’s been looking up porn for a long time, then he’s obviously not satisfied with you. I’d file for divorce if I were you. Good luck.

Oh brother...

Mar 13, 2021 at 5:00pm

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus... The people in this city take themselves way to serious.

38 7Rating: +31

Silliness

Mar 13, 2021 at 5:26pm

Women access porn even more than dudes.
And it's a majority taste, so you married someone thoroughly normal.
This absurd puritanism is archaic in 2021. In fairness to him, you should by all rights divorce and find someone as repressed and controlling as yourself.

59 9Rating: +50

If that's his biggest problem I'll take him off your hands

Mar 13, 2021 at 5:57pm

You're judging him so seems like he was right to keep it a secret. So get to know him, be open to understanding, put down what you think is right, ask questions, be open to changes. Or, if you don't think it's worth it, you're probably not worth it.

40 9Rating: +31

how

Mar 13, 2021 at 6:19pm

does one hide their porno mags for that long ?

17 5Rating: +12

rollingeyes

Mar 13, 2021 at 6:44pm

um, who doesn't watch porn?

Why all the downvotes?

Mar 13, 2021 at 6:46pm

Porn is an abusive industry creating shitty addictions that ruin relationships. It would completely suck to learn that the person you thought was devoted to you is spending significant quantities of time watching and fantasizing about other women. I can understand why OP is hurt by this.

Anonymous

Mar 13, 2021 at 7:10pm

Many people look at porn. Why does it bother you?

35 8Rating: +27

It depends...

Mar 13, 2021 at 9:28pm

On how much sex you’re having. If you’ve got an active sex life then, so far at least, the porn isn’t really an issue. But if he’s spending so much time jacking off that you’re not getting your share, then definitely I’d agree that it’s interfering with your relationship. That’s the trouble with porn; it becomes an addiction for some people, and it interferes with their ability to truly sexually connect with someone else. I looked at porn sometimes when I was in a relationship, but I wasn’t doing it unless I wasn’t getting enough sex with my partner. I’m a woman btw.

19 3Rating: +16

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