I Turned 40 this Week

I am nowhere in life. I don't have any friends. I've never been on a date. I've never done any of the things that come after a (successful) date. I've always been poor, unattractive and socially inept so I realized by my mid-20s that I'll have to learn to be an introvert and keep to myself. It wasn't easy, but I've made peace with being alone and not having a social life. What really crushes my soul is that I've never become financially independent. I thought when I grew up I would at least get a decent job that I don't loathe going to and make enough to support myself and live with dignity, even if alone. I have never had an "adult" job in my life. A 14 year old could do my dead-end retail job. I wasted what savings I had going to school off and on. I failed math and science so I had to get a B.A. which is worthless to most employers. In desperation, I squandered the rest of my savings going back to school for something more "practical" before the pandemic started. Internships (if you don't have family or friends in high places) are how you get a foot in the door but I found that you need to have perfect grades or be an international student, with office experience from your home country, to be accepted. At the end of 2019, I managed to make it to the final interview for my first grownup job. The two interviewers were both younger than me (as were the company owners). They made me wait for over an hour and then asked a bunch of trick "aptitude" questions which I clearly failed because they didn't hire me. It was humiliating. I live in a basement suite in my mother's house (no, not for free). I am deeply ashamed of it. 30% of my annual income goes into deductions, and after bills, groceries and other expenses, there is little left for a down payment for a small condo. It will take years. I have nothing saved for retirement. When my mother passes, I will officially be alone. I will have to work till the day I die, and if I get injured or can't work, I'll end up on the street. There isn't a happy ending for this confession, and there won't be one for my life.

39 Comments

Post a Comment

How?

Apr 22, 2021 at 4:13pm

You write so well. You see clearly and communicate effortlessly. You’re obviously smart.

There’s something standing between you and progress. Talk it out with a trained person. Referrals to counselling are free. Try Bc211.ca

65 5Rating: +60

Yes

Apr 22, 2021 at 5:22pm

Your writing skills are excellent. Perhaps look into legal assistant or script writing something along those lines? You are going to make it.

33 4Rating: +29

automaton

Apr 22, 2021 at 5:50pm

Don't get in your own way. If you believe that you can't be the someone that you want to be, you are right.

Consider today a level playing field. There are plenty of crypto investments and Digital Nomad destinations to turn things around with.

Don't expect things to change until you become the change.

You have something

Apr 22, 2021 at 6:05pm

You have your mom's house, that's your very valuable resource which you serioulsly cannot pass up the opurtunity. Majority of people of your generation in BC had their homes handed down by their parents. Be resourceful for what you have and look within that's where the answer is not outside of you.

19 7Rating: +12

therobotmonster

Apr 22, 2021 at 6:34pm

Now that's a confession! This is how it's done folks...posts like this are what make this place worth visiting. A real look into the depths of the human experience. You have set a great example for us all!

40 9Rating: +31

Unfortunately

Apr 22, 2021 at 6:45pm

People will come up with lame "advice" join a group or get a hobby check up.a meet up group etc, it's easier said than done unfortunately.

17 7Rating: +10

Rebecca

Apr 22, 2021 at 6:58pm

You are one of many living this isolated existence.
I am sorry for the pain you are going through. I though my life was in order until my spouse walked out, I lost my mind, my job, my friends, and every shred of self respect I had. Three years later I am still unemployed and losing hope of every being happy and self sufficient again. You are not alone. We need support groups to meet after the pandemic, or now outside and 6 feet apart.

37 4Rating: +33

never too late

Apr 22, 2021 at 8:17pm

Man, it's never too late to make a change in your life. As for work, have you considered taking up a trade? You gotta start at the bottom, but I bet lots of employers will hire you with no formal training. Or if you can make it work, take a pre-apprenticeship course in your chosen trade, then start working. After your apprenticeship is completed, you are making the top wage more or less. The construction industry is booming right now, and there are all kinds of jobs you can be trained to do. It's not easy to actually do laborious work for a living, but you'll be able to make a comfortable living.

30 4Rating: +26

Anonymous

Apr 22, 2021 at 9:56pm

Multi generational homes are normal almost everywhere in the world, so don't feel bad about that. I lived in Japan, and it was common to see parents, children and a grandparent in the same house. All of Asia is like that. In Italy, it's hard for a mother to let a child out of the house until they're married. The Italian government tried to pry the kids out of their parents home, to stimulate the economy. The kids would have to move out and buy furnishings, renovations etc... easier said than done. Multi generational homes, are not uncommon in France. The homes belong to the family, as opposed to North America where the home belongs to the parents, and you’re "living under their roof." About 2.2 million people in Canada, or about six percent of the population are living in a multi-generational home and that trend in growing.

Anyways, go teach English somewhere, for a while. You're younger than you think you are. Almost anywhere is more interesting than Canada, and you will be forced to grow as a person. Put a couple of hundred into a cryptocurrency, maybe DOGE will be the next bitcoin, what do you got to lose?
Best of luck.

21 3Rating: +18

@OP

Apr 22, 2021 at 10:18pm

Wish I was you.

14 5Rating: +9

Join the Discussion

What's your name?