Most people have that traumatic event they can blame their misfortunes on. Abusive childhoods, crazy ex-spouses, addictions, whatever. Something major. I don't have anything like that. I just saw a pair of long olive legs and something primal said I gotta have that, and the person attached to the legs said NO, and I've been reeling from it for about a decade. But it's not really the kind of pain origin story you can socially unload on people without being ridiculed.