Never enough

I’m going to end my relationship. Again. Some people just cannot ever be satisfied. This person is one of them. We’ve been through this same cycle for far too many years. Nothing changes. No matter how much I give, their needs are bottomless. It’s a lost cause. Last night was a tantrum they threw because I didn’t immediately drop what I was doing to acquiesce to their demand that I get them something from the kitchen. Apparently waiting for another couple of minutes was just too much, and that warranted a rant about how I’m not treating them the way they deserve. I know that I’m giving as much as I’m capable of giving, and that I’ve gone above and beyond for them countless times, but no matter what I do or how much I give, they always let me know that I’m not good enough. So obviously I should let them go find someone else who will be able to satisfy their needs. I’m completely exhausted and I no longer care to try.

24 Comments

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Leave this abuse immediately

Apr 10, 2021 at 6:46pm

That’s all that needs to be said.

25 4Rating: +21

Story of my Life

Apr 10, 2021 at 8:48pm

I am all too familiar with this. I just got shit all over in the comments for stating that when I finally give up because I can’t possibly give any more the person finally sees how much I actually do for them and now they must do everything on their own. They beg for me to come back and when I refuse they actually take upon themselves to get their act together. I’m sick of it. I’m happy being alone. I hope you actually leave and live your life without the burden of unreasonable requests like your partner seems to have of you. Fuck that!

D. Opey

Apr 10, 2021 at 9:37pm

Just promise yourself... with the next person... be assertive and limit the edibles.

11 4Rating: +7

Frank Costanza

Apr 10, 2021 at 10:05pm

Addressing the subject in the plural third person gives them the two man/woman advantage....you’ll be the third wheel no matter how it plays out

6 13Rating: -7

I'd leave too

Apr 11, 2021 at 12:21am

Your partner sounds like a spoiled entitled child. No one should have to tolerate that kind of abusive behavior. I think you're doing the right and healthy thing for yourself by moving on without them.

16 5Rating: +11

Passive aggressive sabotage

Apr 11, 2021 at 1:48am

The plan worked. No, it's not a conscious one but there's a whole routine happening there. By continuously devaluing you, you get fed up and end it, doing the work that your partner doesn't want to do.
Their neediness is bottomless, they know that (and they're terrified that anyone will see this because it denotes weakness; nothing hurts like being too dependent on another in the game of control), and they also know that, eventually, you'll figure it out and leave because it's one-sided. They won't admit it's selfish. They can't see it because it would be too painful to see imperfections in themselves but deep down they know they're flawed and now that you see it, you'll always have that recognition of their shortcomings in your eyes and that constant reminder is too much to bear so you've gotta go. Rather than work on changing (which I suspect they know they don't have it in them to sustain because of a combination of them not seeing what's in it for them and them not having confidence that things will get better if they try because... well... they always fail at maintaining stability), they passively push you away. As you leave, they'll say "See? I knew it would fall apart/it wouldn't work/ they'd eventually leave."
But you won't truly leave. You'll cool off, they'll turn on the charm and you'll give them another chance. The cycle will continue. And each time they will turn it up more whenever you remind them that they're subpar.
So I hope you calmly accept your value as you quietly move on, take time to process and heal, and eventually recognize the red flags so you never go through something like this again. Oh, and change your phone number when you do. Fresh starts are healthy.

24 7Rating: +17

@story of my life

Apr 11, 2021 at 3:30am

You got shit in the comments because you are arrogant. You weren’t begged to come back, either. Man you tell a lot of stories. He’s doing wonderful now and you have absolutely nothing to do with it. Go post about your drinking habits on social media

Anonymous

Apr 11, 2021 at 9:14am

Yes good advice given by all.
Thanks for putting yourselves out there.
Such good people in this world giving such helpful advice.
Way to go did your good deed of the day.
Helping

6 7Rating: -1

Next Time

Apr 11, 2021 at 10:18am

As soon as love feels like work it's time to walk. Real love should feel like fun, pleasurable, satisfying. Nice to know you're turning a new page, peace.

8 6Rating: +2

@passive aggressive sabotage

Apr 11, 2021 at 11:03am

I couldn’t have explained it better myself. Been through this torture and it is purgatory. Op, please walk away.

14 4Rating: +10

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