People think I am smart but I know I am stupid. How do I let them know and get away from the expectations?

I was always a good kid with straight A's at school but since i started university, i cant study at all. I dont want to. I feel depressed and stupid all the time. But my family and friends think i am the same smart kid at school. I am barely passing school with a 2.2 gpa. I dont know how i ended up here. I feel i am living a lie. I just want to let them know that i cant do what they want me to do.

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About post-secondary...

Apr 6, 2021 at 7:41am

It’s not for everyone. It might not be the best fit for you. Or it might just be the wrong timing for you. Parents that insist that their kids go immediately from high school to post-secondary education, regardless of whether or not it’s what their child wants, are missing the mark in my opinion. Maybe you need to do some growing up, have some other types of experiences, or work for a while, before you decide whether or not university or college is right for you. There’s so many other very viable options in terms of education. There are trades, art school if you’re so inclined, technical schools, etc. Going to university is absolutely NOT any guarantee of a future career. If you’re so deeply unhappy that you’re barely passing, then perhaps it’s time to just step away until you can breathe a bit and decide what you want for your own life.

15 0Rating: +15

You are still smart!

Apr 6, 2021 at 7:52am

School is stressful and often has unreasonable workloads and demands. On top of that, there’s a lot of nebulous fear in the world right now that is filtering into the day-to-day. It is hard to think and operate through the fog of depression and anxiety, especially if you have the gift of being sensitive.

You have the right to take a break and gather yourself. It may seem like completing school in x number of years is the only path forward but there are so many other timelines that can be explored.

If you’re feeling trapped or suffocated, please give yourself permission to step away, take a break, and seek support. I know from experience it can seem this way, but it’s not the end of the world of life takes a left turn from the plans you have mapped out for yourself. In fact, life may become richer for the detours you take.

Sending hugs. You got this.

12 0Rating: +12

Sounds like you need some support

Apr 6, 2021 at 10:44am

Going to university can be a huge life change and especially during a pandemic must be really hard to keep up with classes and not feel isolated. You sound more depressed than stupid (I've been there!) - you just need some extra support. Does your school have free counselling? Or maybe you could talk to a doctor and get referred to a psychiatrist (covered by OHIP)? Or if you have funds, you can look up a paid counsellor. If you have any friends or family that you trust, reach out to them and let them know you are struggling, they may be able to help you find someone to assess your situation and give you support and advice. I'm sure once you get the support you need you will find it has a huge impact on your motivation. Good luck.

7 0Rating: +7

The way you feel

Apr 6, 2021 at 5:49pm

I'm sure you are not stupid, but it's clear that you feel you are when you are down. Depression kills motivation and clouds thinking, big time. I lost a whole term once for this reason. I've learned over time to stand back, and not listen to that depressive voice. It's the same tape over and over, e.g., "I'm stupid". Would you tell a friend that? Doubt it. And it's so harsh on yourself, ouch. Makes it worse by reinforcing it all. I feel bad just thinking about that. No, you aren't where you were before, but your comeback might be better (for you first, not to please anyone else). Next time you have those thoughts, try to recognize them for what they are and avoid a downward spiral. Find a distraction like some fresh air and park visits, until you can find some good support.

6 0Rating: +6

You're OK.

Apr 7, 2021 at 4:22am

Do you feel you have the courage and emotional maturity to go abroad for a while, and discover something about yourself? That's a big step for a young person, but it stokes growth in a person. You learn who you are while having an adventure and most importantly, having fun. It doesn't sound like your having much fun. These should be the best years of your life. Take some time out to learn who you are. It'll all be here when you get back.

3 0Rating: +3

Anonymous

Apr 8, 2021 at 6:33am

People say my dog "looks" smart. She isn't.

1 1Rating: 0

@Anonymous

Apr 8, 2021 at 9:27pm

I have never met anyone who said that their dog wasn't smart who wasn't stupider than their dog. I mean, just who is getting fed and lazing about all day, you?

But you're the smart one, riiiight.

0 2Rating: -2

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