Silent nights

I did the "right" things in life... marriage, kids, job, house... made my parents happy doing what was expected and living life the same way my friends do, fitting in. And I am so unhappy. Just as I made financial commitments to that life I met someone who made me question everything. I felt alive but I pushed it away. It kept coming back and I fell in love only to have it fall apart. I tried to control everything and it broke. I fake happiness well, nobody knows but I go to sleep thinking I made the wrong choice and wish I did everything differently. I can't seem to be able to really let go.

15 Comments

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It sounds like

Apr 7, 2021 at 1:54am

...you don't know how to listen to or trust yourself? What do you want to do? Why aren't you doing? I'm sorry your parents were overbearing, but 'should' isn't happiness making. You can start again, just please be as kind to the people in your life now as you can.

8 4Rating: +4

Too late

Apr 7, 2021 at 3:24am

It's too late for bullshit. They know.

6 3Rating: +3

me too

Apr 7, 2021 at 6:28am

wish i could find my woman i'm running out of time

4 2Rating: +2

Talking Heads

Apr 7, 2021 at 6:48am

Same as it ever was (repeat).
Faking happy never ends well.

6 3Rating: +3

Thanks for your honesty

Apr 7, 2021 at 9:11am

I think you are not alone and this kind of situation may be more common than you think. We are all going through growing pains at the moment.

If there's one thing I've learned it's that you are never as trapped as you think you are. You may burn some bridges along the way but you can eventually make it to a place where you can live authentically if that is what you truly want. Some things in life are built to last and some are not, and sometimes it takes awhile to discern which is which.

Take care and all the best in navigating the new world.

9 2Rating: +7

Nate11

Apr 7, 2021 at 9:37am

You did the "right" thing but you still only think about yourself? You have a wife and kids you obviously do not deserve.

10 9Rating: +1

Been there, am there

Apr 7, 2021 at 11:14am

The battle between duty and desire is ubiquitous and unresolvable. We pay a great price for not being sociopaths. However there are other kinds of satisfaction and you should appreciate those too. By being steady and reliable, you help everyone.

6 10Rating: -4

Thoreau

Apr 7, 2021 at 12:00pm

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

9 3Rating: +6

Money

Apr 7, 2021 at 9:29pm

Doesn’t mean a thing. In the end I’d rather chase my heart

13 3Rating: +10

Love never dies

Apr 8, 2021 at 12:36am

You know the thing about regret is that it's never too late. You can change.

12 4Rating: +8

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