Getting Older

I am already settled down but I feel like I want more adventure. I walked past a beautiful woman yesterday who gave me a look that made me feel alive. I'm in my prime and I'm doing alright for myself... I guess I just don't want to look back and feel I missed out.

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Anonymous

May 26, 2021 at 6:01pm

I've always felt a midlife crisis was a person doing what they should have been doing, not the things they have been doing as they reflect on the last 20 years of their lives. We've been so socialized and indoctrinated to be outstanding slaves, when a person does go rouge with their so-called midlife crises, the people around them work hard to contain it for them, like they're doing them some great favour.

Life is for living, live YOUR life. You don't want to reflect on your life, and it was largely getting up, going to work, gossiping, shopping, watching your shows, rinse and repeat. You still have to work, you just don't have to live with lines of credit, credit card debt, more home than you need etc... downsize and learn to live life.

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it

May 26, 2021 at 6:26pm

get's better you'll see

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@anonymous

May 26, 2021 at 7:34pm

True to a point. But I’m reading something between the lines of this confession, and that is that the Op is afraid that he’s “missing out” because he’s married. I’m not judging, because I’m a woman who got divorced in my forties, after being in a very stagnant and unfulfilling marriage for a long time. But I didn’t want a divorce because I felt like I needed other men, as much as I just felt like I was being slowly extinguished by boredom on many levels, including sexually. My ex and I were just not that compatible, although we had some wonderful times. Having an affair isn’t the answer, even if she makes you “feel alive”, because at the end of the day, it’s you that you’ve got to live with, and it’s not your spouse that’s preventing you from doing what makes you feel alive. If you think that the only way to come alive is by having sex with another person, then you’re sadly mistaken. My suggestion (25 years after I made that decision) is to talk to your partner about how you’re really feeling, before you do something rash that could completely derail your life.

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Oops

May 26, 2021 at 7:37pm

" a beautiful woman yesterday who gave me a look that made me feel alive."

You're clearly not from Vancouver. Or lying.

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any second now...

May 26, 2021 at 9:33pm

...someone will chime in with their comment about how the OP is just another scumbag heterosexual older male who should feel guilty about his attraction to the opposite sex. I already see a bunch of negative votes.

To the OP, I say enjoy those days when you feel like you're doing good. We could all use a feeling of optimism for the future these days.

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Anonymous

May 26, 2021 at 10:25pm

Sometimes people show up in your life at the right moment.
Looking out for you.
Call it " Good deed of the day " .
Why ?
Cause we all have stupid days ;)

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There are more ways to live

May 26, 2021 at 10:30pm

than the one society programs you to want.

I wish I had realized this sooner.

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@oops

May 27, 2021 at 4:21am

Aha, right? People here are quite aloof. I can't imagine people checking one another out. Brrrrr... Vancouver.

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you did nothing wrong

May 27, 2021 at 6:22am

The fantasy that was created in your mind by seeing that woman far exceeds the reality if you made a move.
Sometimes ignoring the voice in your head is the correct move.

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I guess you have to ask yourself:

May 27, 2021 at 10:05am

missed out on what?

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