Greatest dream

I have two nephews. I would like to be a part of their lives one day. My greatest dream is that they will research their father's family and try to contact us one day. Please keep an eye on who your children start dating, so that they aren't sucked into cults and cut off from all friends and family, like my brother was.


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I feel your pain

May 13, 2021 at 8:03pm

I have some nieces that I’ve been basically cut off from for their entire lives. Not because of a cult or anything like that, but because their parents think that I’m somehow not worthy. Weird, because it’s not like I haven’t raised my own perfectly normal family, and not like I haven’t led a fairly successful life. No drugs or other criminal activity. I used to have their whole family to my home multiple times for dinners and special events, but never ever got invited to theirs. So those girls grew up without ever knowing me or their cousins at all, even though we lived in the same city. Did it hurt? Yes. But, like in your situation, there’s nothing I can do about it. Families can be incredibly messed up.

11 2Rating: +9

Your concerns are heartfelt & legit

May 13, 2021 at 10:32pm

And speaking for myself as a father & grandfather of many, I was advised years ago by a very wise elder to: "Love your children and always be there for them to help, but realize we don't own our children. We are only their temporary caregivers and then they must find their own way.

11 2Rating: +9


May 13, 2021 at 11:26pm

It matters little whether or not you see them now, or ever.

2 12Rating: -10


May 14, 2021 at 7:24am

Wow , that shifted abruptly.

6 2Rating: +4


May 15, 2021 at 8:36am

I have the same thing going on in my family. My sister in law never showed respect or appreciation for her husbands family. Children will take on the same persona of the dominant parent. Kids get alienated from the less loved side of the family and the uncaring parent influences the kids attitudes to many things but especially how they discriminate and judge others.

2 2Rating: 0

Wow what a heartbreaking situation.

May 17, 2021 at 1:05am

My heart goes out to you Op. I'm in a similar situation -- not with cults, but with family members who have been marginalized. It's just heartbreak all around with families. I hope, as you say, that these young men one day want to reach out & you'll be there with kindness & understanding.

2 1Rating: +1

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