It makes me feel better to not take care of myself.

When I don't brush my teeth, when I don't get a good night's sleep, I feel better. It's as though I'm undeserving of decent self care.

10 Comments

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tiredeyes

May 14, 2021 at 3:59pm

you deserve to treat yourself well.

8 2Rating: +6

I understand your point of view

May 14, 2021 at 4:13pm

What you describe is totally normal and I sometimes feel the same. But I also want to give you a big hug and tell you that you are worthy of care, love, and good outcomes.

Keep in mind the world is set up to convince us, starting in childhood, that we are not enough and we are not worthy. That way, we will buy things to compensate for our illusory lack of wholeness and locate our value in people who want to exploit us.

I don’t know about you, but seeing it through that crass and objective lens can help to spark that fire within me that says, “hey, this is bullshit” and inspire some rage against the machine style radical self care. And P.S.— shagginess is okay too. We are firmly in sweatpants times.

Take it easy and slow. Consciousness is evolving and the times they are a changing.

11 3Rating: +8

sigh...

May 14, 2021 at 5:12pm

I do feel better when I do both of those rather than just one or neither, but being harmed by forced drugging + long-term damage from *previous* decades of forced drugging + constant deliberate nonlocal harm (a fact, surprisingly) + continuous auditory assault day after day + being subjected to all sorts of other violence, suppressions, disinformation and harms, doesn't allow me much choice with even certain forms of basic self-care, sometimes.

4 2Rating: +2

enjoy it now...

May 14, 2021 at 7:13pm

...because this kind of behaviour will come to bite you in the ass eventually.

6 5Rating: +1

Hello clinical depression, my old friend

May 14, 2021 at 10:05pm

I hope you feel better soon.

6 3Rating: +3

Random dude

May 15, 2021 at 4:16am

That’s exactly how I felt when I was a heavy drinker.

3 2Rating: +1

The teeth

May 15, 2021 at 7:42am

If you can only manage one thing when you are down, brush your teeth. You can get actually get sick by leaving all that decay in your mouth. It can't possibly make you feel truly better, when it tastes bad, smells bad, looks bad and feels hideous.

3 2Rating: +1

Shtupit is

May 15, 2021 at 7:47am

as shtupit does

3 5Rating: -2

mojita

May 15, 2021 at 8:02am

It's called depression.

2 2Rating: 0

Anonymous

May 16, 2021 at 6:02pm

It could be that you grew up in an unloving environment with no healthy relationships to compare to what giving and receiving love looks like. If so then it makes perfect sense that unhealthy relationships with others and self feel closer to love when that's all you were shown.

5 2Rating: +3

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