Not interested

My straight married friend at work flirts and hits on me a lot, especially once he realized I thought he was cute. I imagine if anything happened from it that I'd be blamed for taking advantage of him. I think the whole vibe is gross, and this kind of game playing is a total turn-off. I hate predatory guys like that. I don't find him cute now, that's for sure. I'm avoiding him and looking for another job. He should call his wife.

21 Comments

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It's hard...

May 13, 2021 at 12:56pm

... Being a woman... But you seem fine. Go for it.

1 4Rating: -3

Some love/hate language going on here

May 13, 2021 at 1:18pm

Possibly thrill-of-the-chase and boundary-testing issues all around?

2 6Rating: -4

It's Actually

May 13, 2021 at 3:15pm

Sad how many women find married and attached men more attractive over single men. And it's actually rare for men to go after married women
Back in the day, after I found out about mate poaching, I'd wear a ring on the appropriate finger and it got me so much more attention.

3 7Rating: -4

dog

May 13, 2021 at 3:29pm

bad

3 1Rating: +2

It is...

May 13, 2021 at 4:45pm

... not predatory. He's not grabbing you and throwing you in a broom closet, he's hitting on you. A marriage doesn't mean anything it's 2021 for all you know they have an open marriage and it's none of your business unless you don't like having married guys hit on you but then that's not his fault. Predation means something more than doing something that you find objectionable.

4 17Rating: -13

Anonymous

May 13, 2021 at 6:51pm

Yuck, instant turnoff. It's too bad you have to change jobs if it's one you enjoy. It's not your fault at all. You're right to be cautious, you never know which way things can go. He sounds like a scummy rat.

I met a "single" guy online, who turned out to be married. He responded to a SW looking for SM. After finding out he was married I told him I wasn't interested and stopped messaging him. He had a full on shame-rage spiral and started gaslighting me. It's been 2 years of it. I think he thought I was judging him and was scared to be exposed, but I couldn't care less that he was married. It wasn't attractive and not someone I wanted a romantic relationship with, but not for me to expose him either. I crossed paths with him unfortunately later on, in the craziest circumstances, and he became more predatory, tried to ruin my career, my home, went after personal relationships, anything he could get his hands on. A really sick dude. The funny thing is I found out tons about him since our online exchange, I could tank his career, his relationships, everything. But I don't.

20 3Rating: +17

@it is ... not predatory

May 13, 2021 at 10:45pm

B.S.

10 1Rating: +9

Anonymous

May 14, 2021 at 3:07am

If you are married.
Your married and made that choice.
If you want other women get a damn divorce.
Otherwise your shitty.
Get it shitty.

12 1Rating: +11

@@it is ... not predatory

May 14, 2021 at 3:03pm

You're being unreasonable.

Hitting on women is never "predatory" if they're above the age of consent. Sorry, you don't get to redefine words, I am the Lord of the Words and you will submit to my authority.

3 8Rating: -5

@@@ it is...

May 14, 2021 at 4:37pm

I can’t tell if this is a troll comment or not, but if not, I disagree that hitting on people over the age of consent is never predatory, particularly when there are power discrepancies involved.

I’m thinking customer/server, boss/employee, secretly married guy/20 yo single woman, for example. Or any other situation where your safety and security is at stake and dependent on how you respond to the advances, especially if they are unwanted.

5 3Rating: +2

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