Performance anxietyposted May 8th, 2021 at 12:39 PM I want to please my partner so much I lose my arousal from the pressure. Show 13 Comments 13 Comments Post a Comment No problemMay 8, 2021 at 5:00pmBlue chew FindMay 8, 2021 at 5:49pma good counselor You..May 8, 2021 at 8:32pmbetter pack a vibrator in your pocket at all times. A. DaptMay 8, 2021 at 9:40pmIf you think it’s a performance... that might be the issue. Think of it as a service or task or... just relax!It’s all in your head. Switch it all up. Music you hate. Lights off. Lights on. I dunno. I’m an incel. AnonymousMay 9, 2021 at 8:55amThat sounds frustrating, OP. Sounds like a vicious cycle of anxiety begetting more anxiety. You might need to adjust your mindset away from being so eager to please your partner. BrainlessMay 9, 2021 at 10:40amYou gotta learn to shut off your brain. Whether you work with a counselor to do it, or do your own research definitely make that effort. You can tell when the other person is deep in their own head during sex, and it doesn't make it fun. Normal butMay 9, 2021 at 11:07amHave you talked to her? I would suspect she doesn’t expect a “performance”. People have sex for a variety of reasons - I would put connection, validation, and pleasure at the top. You can hit all 3 without maintaining an erection at all times. And maybe if you recognize how much satisfaction you’re able to provide independent of a hard dick, you’ll have much more confidence and an easier time staying hard. @incelMay 9, 2021 at 3:08pminvoluntary celibate is a pathetic 'pity party' by chicken sh*ts who default from life's lesson plan. Suggest check the teachings "I am master of my fate. I am captain of my soul" in the poem 'Invictus' by William Henley "Performance" is such a strange and off-putting ideaMay 9, 2021 at 5:31pmto me, when it comes to any mutual sexual act that isn't literally in front of a camera and specifically scripted for a film (or some kind of ...competition?), or something.I think communicating with your partner about that sense of anxiety would probably be helpful. I don't think real sex is supposed to be even related to anything like a performance; isn't it about the mutual sharing pleasure, connection, love, intimacy and mergence of being with another?They probably don't expect or even want a performance from you. At least, I would be thoroughly put off by that kind of strange, alienating mental-emotional tangle in another I'm sharing the closest aspects of my body, mind, feelings and essence with, that's for sure. @ @incelMay 9, 2021 at 10:07pmLet me guess- you life is so perfect and awesome that you feel the need to belittle others. When in fact those who shame others- are the ones with the real problems. LOAD MORE Join the Discussion Your name Comment * your name What's your name?