Soul sapped

Since covid, none of the friends I thought of as family have kept in touch. I am alone with no real family here. I looked at those friends as my surrogate family. What's really killing me about this, is I'm surrounded by 'friends'who are sucking the life out of me. Losing all the connections that gave me joy and having them replaced by people who leave me drained is a type of lonely I never thought possible .

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Opposite for me

May 11, 2021 at 9:59pm

My friends have been great - it's my family who are sucking the life out of me. I've always been the rescuer in my family, but now I'm disabled and need help, they don't want to know. It's heartbreaking, but at least now I know the score.

6 1Rating: +5

If they’re worth it, reach out

May 11, 2021 at 9:59pm

Everyone is drained by COVID. Reach out to those great friends that you miss, and just say Hi. Everyone loves to get a friendly hello. Minimize your time and thinking about this other subset of friends that aren’t so great for you. This is coming from someone who hasn’t heard from a couple of friends during COVID, but once I made the initiative, we will be meeting for beers once we’re all vaccinated. Chase what you want to happen.

12 2Rating: +10

You are free

May 12, 2021 at 7:17am

I’m sorry the friends you thought of as family haven’t been there for you. Another way to look at it, maybe, would be to be grateful that you now know they didn’t hold your friendship in as high regard as you did. Hard to swallow but also the truth, which, once accepted, will allow you to move on and make real connections who value your friendship. Like so many other things that have come to light over the last year, fake friendships that didn’t weather Covid can be abandoned to make way for real ones. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that the people whom you thought were your friends weren’t there for you, but what better opportunity to shed those dead weight connections. Also, it’s better to be alone and filling your own cup than being surrounded by “friends” who leave you drained. Your introspection has revealed the truth. Keep following the truth and don’t settle for any type of friendship that doesn’t satisfy you.

2 1Rating: +1

2 way street

May 12, 2021 at 8:53am

They may not have reached out to you but have you reached out to them? We’re all struggling in our own ways and doing the best we can. Small things feel overwhelming. You can initiate too.

4 1Rating: +3

Let's face it.

May 12, 2021 at 5:32pm

you don’t have any friends now, and you didn’t have any friends then. I’m not saying this as a personal criticism of you. Before, you thought they were like family, and now that the chips are down, they evaporate. They were never real friends, never real family. Now, you have a bunch of loser-users who aren’t friends, they just like to travel from person to person like vampires, draining time, energy or worse, money. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m in a similar situation myself. True friends are difficult to come by. I sincerely hope that despite everything, despite the emotional exhaustion, you are able to pick yourself up and find it within yourself to go out looking for real friends. Post-COVID, they might be in a pottery class with you, or volunteering with you at a homeless shelter. You owe it to yourself to go out & find them.

4 2Rating: +2

Welcome

May 12, 2021 at 6:43pm

To the world of energy vampires. Get out while you can.

5 2Rating: +3

Did you reach out to them...?

May 12, 2021 at 8:35pm

I agree with the poster “if they’re worth it, reach out” above. It sounds like you may have sat back and waited for people to understand psychically what you need. Everyone is stressed and sapped, and the last thing anyone needs right now is to feel like they have to take responsibility for every single person in their life. It’s 50/50 give and take these days <3 I bet when you reach out to your tribe, they’ll meet you with loving and open arms.

5 1Rating: +4

Did you reach out to them...?

May 12, 2021 at 8:35pm

I agree with the poster “if they’re worth it, reach out” above. It sounds like you may have sat back and waited for people to understand psychically what you need. Everyone is stressed and sapped, and the last thing anyone needs right now is to feel like they have to take responsibility for every single person in their life. It’s 50/50 give and take these days <3 I bet when you reach out to your tribe, they’ll meet you with loving and open arms.

1 1Rating: 0

I'm going to disagree with many of the replies

May 13, 2021 at 7:04am

I totally understand the OP. I'll wager that the OP has historically been the one doing most of the calling and wonders why they bought a phone when it seldom rings.
I'll bet the ones asking whether the OP reached out are the kind of friends who never do any of the calling. I say this because I have friends just like that who take friendships for granted. They're not awful people. They just are so used to everyone calling them that they don't see how unequal their efforts are.
These self-absorbed folks are called shitty friends, and when you take good people for granted not putting any effort into friendships you are a shitty friend and don't deserve someone like the OP in your life.
The OP has a role, albeit it's a misguided one: they chose bad friends, likely because that's all they've had access to in life and, if they had good friends from the onset they'd have made better friends long ago. If they're young, they'll have a chance to make new and better ones (and they should immediately once this pandemic lifts). If the OP is older... well... they'll have to accept that it's going to be much harder to make friends and the most those people will be is fairweather friends because nobody sticks their neck out for newer friends later in life.
I chose to cut out the dead weight, so covid isolation isn't really a thing for me. I got Netflix and Twitter to keep me entertained and can FaceTime with my superficial acquaintances when I'm bored. The bar is set low, so these options don't disappoint.
Happy covid.

5 4Rating: +1

No name

May 13, 2021 at 10:59pm

I feel lonely too

3 0Rating: +3

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