Tired of the tedium

I confess that I’m finding it harder and harder to keep my patience with a friend who is completely unwilling to grow up. The guy is in his 60’s. He expects everyone else to accommodate his eccentricities (about almost everything) but he accommodates virtually nothing. He acts like a giant child. It’s exhausting dealing with his constant weirdness. He has some great qualities, but I’m finding that the older he gets, the more set in his weirdness he gets too. Just basic everyday things that are normal for the majority of the population, he either refuses to do or learn. He’s gotten by for his whole life using his charm and charisma and getting other people to cater to him. But the charm has worn far too thin and now he’s a senior with almost no friends. Part of me feels sorry for him, but the other part just feels irritated with the tedium of dealing with all of the things he either can not or will not do. I’m just finding more and more reasons to avoid spending time with him.

17 Comments

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perhaps

May 11, 2021 at 2:19pm

too much beers etc

8 5Rating: +3

My Dad had a friend

May 11, 2021 at 2:26pm

who sounds just like this. The truth was the man was a bit of a narcissist, found himself to be exceptional in every way, above rules, unwilling to accept responsibility for anything, and highly deserving of favours, breaks, discounts, gifts, with no thought of ever returning kindness to others. Those choices have consequences. It's a great way to drive people out of your life.

18 4Rating: +14

Tired of the increasing bully boy mentality too

May 11, 2021 at 2:47pm

These covid cuckoo times are bring back memories of reading 'Lord of the Flies' - (William Golding) ... but in the big picture i try my best to lean into positivity in that no matter what lessons our immature human race has to learn to evolve out of the rat race; everythings gunna be ok ... Like some Jamaican singer sang (what was his name again :-) "Don't worry bout a thing, every little things gunna be alright"

10 4Rating: +6

You..

May 11, 2021 at 3:23pm

... do not name a single thing specifically. Be specific.

7 10Rating: -3

I feel you

May 11, 2021 at 3:26pm

I have a friend like this. As you say, he expects the world to cater to him and does nothing for anyone. The funny bit is that he is a typical edge lord, loves to stir the pot and stalk shit, but when you call him out or doubt his "intellect" he gets super sulky and defensive. Anyone that doesnt agree with him is a "pussy". The sad thing about these miserable fucks is that they think very highly of themselves yet they are too dumb to realize that they alienate everyone around them.

24 4Rating: +20

Well thank God for that.

May 11, 2021 at 4:34pm

He must have been worried he was never going to be alone!! Amen.

5 3Rating: +2

Anonymous

May 11, 2021 at 7:40pm

Maybe he's on the spectrum? ASD may be over diagnosed now, but if he's in his 60s, he'd be from a period when ASD would have been under diagnosed. I have a friend in her late 40s that I'm convinced is an undiagnosed ASD, but discussing anything topical with her is difficult, discussing ASD is impossible.

The common symptoms include:

Repetitive motor patterns
Difficulty in assessing other's feelings and “reading” other people
Exaggerated facial expressions and gesture usage
Aggressive behaviour
Poor muscle coordination
Depressive mood
Having problems understanding humour
Inability to perceive gestures
Lack of social awareness
Being sensitive to noise, touch, odour or tastes

6 7Rating: -1

We have a couple in our family

May 11, 2021 at 9:43pm

It's all about them (oh, the melodrama) and they're always trying to arrange everyone else's lives to suit them. They demand, demand, demand, but throw a tantrum if asked for anything in return. Or they try to rewrite history to deny what you did for them. The only answer is to stand firm and don't give in to them. Although, at over 60, it's unlikely they're going to change their behaviour.

4 1Rating: +3

@You

May 11, 2021 at 10:02pm

As far as I know, there’s no rule for this forum that requires us to provide all the details. Maybe I’m being specifically vague because I don’t want to identify my friend. I still care about the guy, I just can’t be around him too much.

6 1Rating: +5

@You

May 11, 2021 at 11:26pm

"Be specific" and an anonymous confession site is an oxymoron.

9 2Rating: +7

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