Father's Day

My father told me today how much he'd love to have grandchildren. I smiled & looked down, respectfully didn't say anything. I love children but personally don't wish to be married or have children. But my heart cracked a little bit today. Sad because it feels like me by myself isn't enough. Sad because me not wishing a husband or children in no way makes me incomplete or less than. Sad because he'd be a great grandpa. Just a big mix of feelings.

10 Comments

Post a Comment

Big Sisters

Jun 20, 2021 at 1:43pm

If you join Big Sisters, you could spend time with a kid in need and provide him with a surrogate grandkid.

6 4Rating: +2

Alex

Jun 20, 2021 at 7:27pm

I can completely relate to you, I could go on about it but you said everything I feel as well.

3 0Rating: +3

You could...

Jun 20, 2021 at 7:39pm

buy him a little monkey.

5 1Rating: +4

Anonymous

Jun 21, 2021 at 10:24am

Don't do it, boomers always get what they want!

4 1Rating: +3

I love kids too

Jun 21, 2021 at 12:18pm

But I don’t want them in my house.

3 0Rating: +3

Free advice

Jun 21, 2021 at 4:26pm

You took this as a slight against you. It's not. (Necessarily, maybe it was and he is a jerk.) The way I would read it, he wants grandchildren. It's not that you're not enough. Maybe you're a great kid, certainly sensitive and sensible from your brief post here. You would fulfil all the kid needs he has. But he wants a grandchild too. That's ok, he is allowed to want that. You're under no obligation to provide it though. you haven't failed by not giving him something you have no intention of providing.

4 0Rating: +4

no support

Jun 23, 2021 at 9:47pm

In this fickled world to undertake a 20 year commitment is stupid. I love my kids, but there's is no support, only sharks, so I don't envy your position.

0 4Rating: -4

op

Jun 24, 2021 at 7:38am

@Big Sisters -- actually kind of a genius idea, and one I'd never considered. Thank you.
@Free Advice -- You're right of course. I appreciate the reassurance. Thank you.

4 0Rating: +4

Yeah.

Jun 24, 2021 at 7:03pm

Tell your Dad that you will give him grandkids but he has to pay to raise them. Do you know how expensive children are?! That's why I never had them. Imagine having kids and when they turn 20 the rents in Vancouver will be 5000 a month you would have to work 10 jobs to afford to live there. Some life that would be.

2 3Rating: -1

Hmnnnn…

Jun 24, 2021 at 7:55pm

Your father is entitled to voice his own desires. You don’t have the right to tell him that he shouldn’t feel that way. It’s a pretty normal human desire as we get older, to want to have a younger generation to care for and love. But you’re equally as entitled to voice your own desires. Perhaps it’s time that you came out and told him that you don’t want children and don’t intend to have any. An honest conversation seems to be overdue in your situation.

0 5Rating: -5

Join the Discussion

What's your name?