He’s a nice person but have no friends.

I went on a hike with two people I met through a mutual friend. Being new to the group, I spent most of the way up tuning into their CrossFit gossip. The conversation took a dip, and they were discussing a certain woman who apparently has no friends. One of them, rounded off the sentence with “but she’s really mean...”, To which a solo hiker approaching us, mumbled under their commentary, “I’m nice, and I have no friends”... Both my fellow hikers burst into an uncomfortable giggle, as if this was a joke he was making, because surely, no one would ever admit to strangers, that somehow, an accumulation of life events did not include practicing charisma. I wanted to run over, and offer a friend. But that reaction would make him realize that I might think he’s being serious. And god knows, who want to ever admit that they know a vulnerable secret of a stranger without knowing if it was their intention to share truthfully. Has my privilege made me patronizing? Or should we address loneliness in a less stigmatic tone?


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Jun 16, 2021 at 12:10am

The main point this chap was tongue in cheek getting at in a sarcastic low-key dark humour manner, was how you may assume someone to have no friends or mean, when in reality it is you who are the mean person or persons, lonely with non-genuine friends. proof be told by trash talking someone who you don't know is pretty low. anyhow, himself making himself as proof to that point since he is alone or with a close friend circle, and friendly. I don't think a reaction of pity towards him is what he was aiming for, but I also don't think you had the smarts enough to realize he was actually insulting both of you.

25 4Rating: +21

Leave him alone!

Jun 16, 2021 at 12:28am

He was hiking alone and has no friends because he's sick of the tawdry nature of the human race. He was seeking solace in the woods and was briefly confronted with what he was trying to escape, and sarcastically made that comment. Your friends sound horrible.

30 4Rating: +26

Is this a hike

Jun 16, 2021 at 12:30am

Or high school?

38 3Rating: +35

She'll be coming down the mountain

Jun 16, 2021 at 1:11am

Bloviatingly obvious someone's going to great lengths (and heights) to(gulp for air) make their point

11 4Rating: +7

Gmouthi Seauton

Jun 16, 2021 at 2:37am

Sure t'wasnt I ya twit?
Descend I did
Sure and swift.
Shaped so strangely
Strengthened in shifts
Belonging to no one
Blown to bits.
When a soul tells
You something best not to hear
Best you might do is
Forget cheerless tears

5 1Rating: +4

Lots of reasons

Jun 16, 2021 at 4:48am

Just because someone doesn’t seem to have any friends doesn’t mean that they’re mean. Maybe their friends don’t live locally. Maybe they’re introverted and don’t feel comfortable joining groups or being very social. Maybe they’re painfully shy. We shouldn’t ever assume that we know everything there is to know about another person. As for the stranger mumbling, that’s another thing that you don’t know anything about. You can’t assume that you know why he said it or what he was thinking. Maybe he was being serious, maybe not. But I do agree that we shouldn’t ever stigmatize someone for not having friends. Lots of us are lonely nowadays.

19 0Rating: +19

I don't...

Jun 16, 2021 at 4:59am

... have any friends. I mean I guess I do sort of but what's a friend? Aristotle says a friend to someone who shares the same soul that is friends for two people who have one soul or something like that.

I mean I've never really had friends but I think that's more that I don't understand the concept. I think it's because I'd prefer a world in which everybody was somewhat kind to everyone and that what we did was sort of scripted you know we'd have church on Sunday and there'd be like public meals hiking clubs maybe even compulsory military service where we got exercise.

I mean are they really friends if they wouldn't die for you on the battlefield and you for them? It seems to me the most of what people call friendship is fairly superficial.

8 1Rating: +7


Jun 16, 2021 at 9:07am

Is not crossfit and I lost you from there. You are nice person I'm sure but making big deal out of small almost meaningless at worst is no amusing at best if you lived a little observations. Guy had dry humor is all I see

5 2Rating: +3

Stigma Is Its Own Reward

Jun 16, 2021 at 11:13am

Definitely we should address loneliness without stigma. We could guess all day long what that person intended, but the only way to know would be to ask. Easy enough to try without calling him out or invalidating his point, whether it was serious, serious-veiled-in-humour, or just humour.

3 1Rating: +2


Jun 16, 2021 at 12:06pm

I find that bonding through another’s misfortune or gossiping in order to bond the most disturbing.

22 1Rating: +21

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