Suggestions FOMO?

Not sure where to start... Facing a serious operation soon and worrying about pulling through, the surgery, and the long, arduous recovery process. I'm scared as hell and thinking about one thing in particular I want to do, but not sure how to go about it. I've dealt with sexual abuse, trauma etc. and other difficult experiences due to men, and haven't even tried dating in years due to those issues, and because of my chronic health issues. It's painful the loneliness, but I miss just being held. As a woman, anyone can just go on tinder for sex. That's not what I want though, just being held. It's so tough though still with COVID and it not being safe especially as I'm vulnerable and any infection could be bad for me being immunocompromised from a stupid autoimmune condition. I did get my my first covid vaccine, but it's still risky.... I guess it's just something I really want to do before this operation in case something happens or also if I get through it and the recovery that will be many months... So, what would you do? What do you suggest cause I have no clue...

9 Comments

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Planning

Jun 5, 2021 at 12:43am

I was in a similar situation, waiting for surgery, and it made me feel unusually vulnerable. I sought emotional and practical support from a friend (who I had supported in the past) and she basically told me to get lost. It was really rough and I obsessed about running out of food during the recovery process. Other people stepped up to help though so it was ok. I usually hate asking and accepting help, but I had no choice and made new (better) friends as a consequence. The next time I needed surgery, I had everything planned to a T. A freezer full of meals, loads of books and the right people behind me. It's amazing how strong you can be when you need to be.

2 1Rating: +1

Life is a road

Jun 5, 2021 at 2:23am

And there are a few benevolent bravehearts who've gone up ahead on the road and learnt important elements of the surviving the route and of the purpose of life. That being help yourself through helping others. These bravehearts now reach their hand back down the road to help those who suffer. When you are truly ready to quit your pity party, turn on your inner radar to locate the bravehearts helping hand. An indigenous teaching is that the real-deal helpers never advertise nor do they put a price tag on their help. Due to the nature of this dimensions curriculum its up to each and all to activate your own inner radar to achieve. Walk good Sisters and Brothers, then you too will be able to help those in need.

5 1Rating: +4

And then I go and spoil it all

Jun 5, 2021 at 3:23am

By saying something stupid like I don't know how to tie a tie. Just never took the time to learn how

1 2Rating: -1

If you crave touch

Jun 5, 2021 at 6:23am

Maybe get a professional massage? They are all masked up and you can be double-masked and ask for them to open a window as well for air circulation.

4 1Rating: +3

Anonymous

Jun 5, 2021 at 10:00am

Please put this sex stuff off until you recover.

Please do not worry. You will be okay, in all likelihood.

2 2Rating: 0

Sorry about the situation

Jun 5, 2021 at 10:09am

I'm a 43 year old guy that never had anything more than the occasional one night stand here and there. I haven't had much in the way of hugs and cuddles in my life unless it came from one of my pets. That being said, maybe you could try a petting zoo, or investing in a kitten if you manage to survive your surgery and vaccine. Good luck to you. Hope it all works out in the end.

4 2Rating: +2

woof!

Jun 5, 2021 at 1:59pm

Get a fur buddy. Seriously. They help immensely although right now dogs are hard to find cuz everyone's in the same boat. Good luck with your surgery, you'll be fine. hugs

4 3Rating: +1

Op here

Jun 6, 2021 at 10:48pm

@ planning - hope you are recovering well. I've planned everything and have friends helping too.

@ life is a road. Very insulting to say pity party. Every single person I spoke with about this surgery and has had it went through the same fears, facing their mortality. That's wrong of you and shows you lack empathy. You have NO idea the life I have lived. I have experienced constant hardship and pain since I was a child. I have a disability, and I've only ever helped people whenever I can because of my suffering and wanted to help others that suffer too. It's extremely difficult when you are marginalized, deal with constant adversity, and battling chronic mental and physical health issues. Unbelievably rude and ableist! Ive tried doing my best and worked in jobs helping others, it's been dream for years to help others on a larger scale, but my body is an asshole that in a war with everyday. LEARN EMPATHY. You don't know me or the life I've had.

@ anonymous - you did NOT read my post properly. I do NOT want sex. I spoke of being just held. Any woman can get sex, do NOT want or need it.

@ woof - have a friend's doggie I play with and hang out with when I see them sometimes and he always make me smile, and laugh. Dogs are amazing and healing.

@ - I may consider getting massage. I used to precovid for chronic pain, but couldn't due to being immunocompromised and it not being safe. I got the first vaccine, so I'll think about it, ask if they are vaccinated etc. Ty

3 0Rating: +3

woof!

Jun 11, 2021 at 6:14am

Massage is fantastic once you get your vaccines in place but I understand some therapists are making safe appointments now. Highly recommended! The natural endorphin and serotonin fix are the best ever. Glad you can visit with your friend's dog. Great prescription! Hang in there. =)

2 0Rating: +2

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