Dreams of a New Me

As someone who has struggled with weight my whole life, I wished I had used the past 1.5 years of COVID as an opportunity to lose weight. I know I am the lucky few who saw improved mental health during the pandemic, because I was able to work from home and have less FOMO. I got back three hours a day because I no longer had to commute, and I could eat healthier because I live with my parents and they also have a fridge and pantry full of healthy, nutritious foods. I wish I could go back to work and dating in the fall with a new, fit body, but that won’t be the case. I keep dreaming of what could have been. Going back to my old habits and still having the self loathing and low self esteem makes me so sad. If only I could go back in time and use my extra time each day more wisely!

17 Comments

Post a Comment

Hey OP

Jul 14, 2021 at 8:06pm

Don’t be so hard on yourself :) You just survived a pandemic. The metamorphic emphasis for many of us has been on the inside. I know I’ve had to insulate my cocoon a bit to get through lol.

Any day can be the start of a new adventure in building self-esteem, whether that be through exercise or something different. Remember: you are worthy of love and care regardless of size, and the people you want around will understand that instinctively.

Take care and be good to yourself!

29 4Rating: +25

You can always

Jul 14, 2021 at 8:15pm

Start drinking warm beer, and you won't want to anymore. Pounds should shed off naturally after that.

2 19Rating: -17

Yeah, same

Jul 14, 2021 at 8:33pm

But I know that my weight problem has as much to do with my mental health as it does with my every day physical realities. My anxiety and depression deepened. I broke up with my significant other. I was totally isolated for months on end. I had surgery that meant it was harder to exercise. I had countless other major life stressors to deal with at the same time. So I’m cutting myself some slack when it comes to focussing on my weight (I’m not morbidly obese but I’m about 30 pounds heavier than ever before), because the other stuff needs to be addressed first. Please be as kind to yourself as you’d be to anyone else dealing with the same issues.

23 4Rating: +19

Damn

Jul 14, 2021 at 9:07pm

3 hours of commuting a day! That sucks. I remember the long commutes when I worked in Coquitlam. Employers gotta start paying for that time.

As for your health. It’s never too late to start and at least you have some self awareness and positivity. Make a fitness plan. Get someone to work out with. Good luck.

17 3Rating: +14

Anonymous

Jul 14, 2021 at 9:48pm

Failure comes with a thousand reasons/excuses.

Your reality: You do not want to lose weight enough to go through with it. The good news: You can change this yourself. The average human mind is capable of this sort of thing.

Napoleon is my hero

Jul 15, 2021 at 4:20am

You could go to Anytime Fitness and say "February 2020 please."
I like June 1815 myself

2 2Rating: 0

@Anonymous

Jul 15, 2021 at 7:14am

This is so completely unscientific. Can anyone lose weight if they starve themselves? Certainly I'm an example of them I was obese until I was 19 and then I decided I was tired of it so as you say I just put my mind to it and I reduced calories and I lost weight. Before I lost weight I had normal blood sugar my blood pressure was fine I like to eat and I didn't feel any guilt or shame or anything about eating I had fine mental health too I just understood that other people judged me for it so I decided to let other people call the tune.

Once I was a healthy weight I started feeling really bad and so I went to the doctor and she put the blood pressure cuff on and holy shit your blood pressure is high so then I had to take blood pressure medications and those interfere with things and I gained weight again.

Another issue ever wondered why you had that family in your school or your life and they're all fat do you think that's cuz they all just love eating cake and they have no self control? That might be true sometimes but what all the contemporary research and unlike much of it this actually is repeatable suggests their genetic variations that impact ability to lose weight and there are also more concerningly strong associations with gut bacteria.

So they've done studies where they have a group of mice with a sterilized gut a group of mice with bacteria from obese people and a group of mice with bacteria from thin people. The most colonized with the thin person bacteria way less than those who are sterile way less than those who have the obese persons bacteria. And this is when they're all eating literally the same thing.

Now you might say well it's pretty stupid you starved yourself but unlike today I guess in the era of walk-in clinics I had one doctor from the time I was born till the time I was about 34. She never once treated my being overweight as a medical problem to which there could be a solution and I don't mean drugs or surgery I mean her saying well what are you eating oh well that's not good, eat this.

But if a substantial part of it is getting bacteria and genetics then we could actually solve the gut bacteria problem but doctors don't care I'm currently dealing with a problem and I asked him could my weight be contributing and they go oh yes and I say well what can we do about that and then they just say oh I don't know exercise?

4 3Rating: +1

What's really stopping you?

Jul 15, 2021 at 8:52am

Even if you could go back in time and get yourself fit, fast forward to the future how do you expect to maintain that fitness? It doesn't matter when you start, it only matters that you start. Any amount of time for some exercise regardless of it being 5 minutes or 5 hours and making better diet choices each day is going to improve your body more than doing nothing but reflecting on shoulda coulda woulda if only I ...

10 2Rating: +8

McFly [J]

Jul 15, 2021 at 9:54am

Real time travel is doing what you want to do now.

Like another poster said, you've come through pandemia with improved mental health, that's a lot, be gentle with yourself.

If you don't like your situation, you can either change your situation or change yourself. In this case you might benefit from both. Diet and exercise will change how you look, i.e. change your situation, but it's just as or maybe more important to exercise your perceptions, i.e. change yourself. Learn to accept and embrace yourself as you are. There's no book that says you have to look one way or another. You're you shaped. That isn't a problem unless you say it is.

So what do you say?

8 2Rating: +6

You can’t change the past

Jul 15, 2021 at 12:52pm

So start creating your tomorrow.

13 2Rating: +11

Join the Discussion

What's your name?