Easier said than done

I confess that I inwardly cringe when someone without any real family ties tries to convince someone who does have those ties to “just move”. Or “just do what you feel like”. The reality is that when you’ve got children, it’s not easy to “just” do anything that is basically entirely for you. I’m not only talking about when your kids are little either. When you’ve got family, if you want to maintain close ties with them, moving a distance away is going to adversely affect your relationship, regardless. Similarly, if you want to live your life without ever having to concern yourself with responsibility, then do not have kids! That’s a perfectly legitimate lifestyle choice, but it’s the polar opposite of a lifestyle where obligation to one’s offspring plays a role. So if you recognize yourself in what I’m saying, please don’t get all preachy with me about “just” letting go of the family ties, because, respectfully, you have no idea what you’re talking about.

13 Comments

Post a Comment

Anonymous

Jul 11, 2021 at 2:27am

Interesting.

My parents conspired to break up my family and both of them basically left me to die on the side of the road before I reached the age of 16.

Parents like mine deserve to be tossed into the flames of Hell.

2 2Rating: 0

Half a long lifetime ago

Jul 11, 2021 at 5:05am

I found my female reflection. It was daunting and horrifying and utterly thrilling. But there was no union and after much agony I lost and left her. Many hollow haunted years past and then she reappeared hopelessly distant. Nothing can bring us together. It's just not meant to be. Yet there every day and night in the sky shines the sun and the moon and the stars...

5 3Rating: +2

I and a bunch of friends and other people I know

Jul 11, 2021 at 7:23am

have moved away from our home towns and the only way it "adversely" affected our relationships is that we can't immediately drive to see them. But we still have close ties with them through phone calls/Skype/Zoom/email/letters, etc.
It's a fact of life that a lot of people have to move (far) away from family (including kids) and don't you dare try to say we don't value them because of it.

11 2Rating: +9

South Park

Jul 11, 2021 at 9:49am

As Kyle Broflovski on South Park once said, “When people have children, they have to grow up.”

6 2Rating: +4

Exactly

Jul 11, 2021 at 9:50am

People who know nothing about your situation and talk from out of their asses should mind their own business.

6 2Rating: +4

It can be literally impossible sometimes.

Jul 11, 2021 at 10:37am

Yes, so true, no idea. My Mom was unwell and lived with me for those last five, hard years of her life. I had been looking for a place further out of town at the time. But I stayed because I had a brother next door, an adult child up the road (who was also having serious health issues), other support all over Van and a medical team that was well set up in the city. I never, ever could have done it on my own out of town.
And then there was that decent long term job I had at the time. You don't just up and leave those, especially on the cusp of retirement.

6 1Rating: +5

Oh really?

Jul 11, 2021 at 10:38am

I grew up in a family of five boys, as the youngest I was tortured, beaten, abused. I left when I was 19 and didn’t look back.

You sound like you’re too young and immature to understand what YOU are talking about. Amateur.

9 5Rating: +4

@ Oh really?

Jul 11, 2021 at 2:24pm

I’m not sure how your comment in any way relates to what I’m talking about. Also, if you call 68 “too young” then sure lol. I’ve got 4 kids and 6 grandchildren so…

4 3Rating: +1

Anonymous

Jul 12, 2021 at 5:19am

Just move

7 2Rating: +5

Op

Jul 13, 2021 at 9:21am

Many of you totally misconstrued what I said. I’m talking about parents moving away from kids, not kids moving away. I’m also not talking about having to leave home due to abuse. And I have a lot of personal experience with both of these scenarios myself, so I stand by what I said. Physical distance definitely does adversely affect relationships of any kind. Whether it’s friends or family, it’s much harder to see each other and Skype just doesn’t make up for that. I personally want to be able to be there for my children and grandchildren. I want to be an active participant in their lives, not just be someone who they see only when one of us is able to travel. Obviously there’s times when families have no choice but to be separated, and I’m not talking about those types of situations, so cool your jets @I and a bunch. My point is that if you want to be free to travel and maybe move to somewhere far away, you should expect that it’s going to have a detrimental effect on your relationships. Sure, you can still love each other, but being close is going to be very hard.

2 2Rating: 0

Join the Discussion

What's your name?