and slow progress has been made. Less but persistent. A new beginning always helps but the past that can't be revisited permeates me with scars. I don't know how to be vulnerable and trust. I'm too used to people being obsessed with me, like stalkers or men who just want to fuck me. They cast me as a "manic pixie dream girl", the television trope that's only serving to aid the protagonist's growth, but it's quite literally all the components of nature and nurture that make up me that has made me unusual, I'm truly milquetoast internally. And I'm also still a person, not a trope. So I'm not used to what's normal, when people take it slow and are open to where it takes them. I wished he was vulnerable with me but I guess I wasn't with him either. It is just unfortunate to collect all these scars, I think someday I might become one big scar by my own hands.