It's not over

I feel like too many people think the virus is gone and is no longer a problem. I'm a nurse and we still have covid+ patients, so it's far from "out of sight, out of mind" for me. My partner was decently careful during the height of the pandemic, but she has completely let go of all precautions now. She hangs out in giant groups (which is allowed, yes) but none wear masks, they share cigarettes/vapes and drinks, and don't wash their hands. I'm sick of it, and want to keep my distance from her so I don't catch it from her irresponsible behaviour. Am I so burnt out that I'm becoming an oblivious A-hole, or am I justified in feeling this way?


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Jul 26, 2021 at 2:48pm

I'm still being careful - fully vaxxed, but I mask when I'm out in public and stay my six feet away from everybody. The Delta variant can still break through vaccines and even if we're asymptomatic because we're double-vaxxed, we can still spread it. I don't want to risk giving it to anyone who may be immuno-compromised, or only has a single vax. Plus I've been watching what's happening in the UK and that's a bit eye-opening. People around me seem to be cautious as well. Hopefully whatever happens, we'll all get through it. And yes, I think you're totally justified in being upset about this behaviour.

First of all, thank you for your service.

Jul 26, 2021 at 3:00pm

As a nurse, you've been in the trenches of this war for the last year and a half. I can't imagine how difficult it's been for a frontline health care worker. For what it's worth, I don't think you're being an A-hole. I think many people are tired of this pandemic, and understandably so. It has been dragging on & it's been very difficult for everyone. But it doesn't change the fact that we will still experience waves of variants in the months to come, that vaccinated people will still become ill, that unvaccinated people are still at risk to become deadly ill. It's a reality people don't want to accept, and I get it, because it's been an awful time. I see your partner's behavior as disrespectful towards you, because you have reservations about it, & because you are a frontline healthcare worker who has seen the realities of this virus. You have to decide if you are willing to continue tolerating that disrespect.

My worthless opinion

Jul 26, 2021 at 4:49pm

I do not know you OP, but from what you describe; I think you are probably really burnt out. I have several nurse friends who have been vocal about how bad the burnouts are in healthcare atm. You are also necessarily vaccinated being a nurse, and probably have been for at least 4 months; so I don’t think your fear of catching Covid from your partner’s partying is very sound.
But you might have issue with your partner’s partying, or ‘irresponsible behaviour’. Is this a longer lasting issue in your relationship? Also, presumably, the weight of responsibility has been heavy on your shoulders for the past year +. Healthcare workers have been heroic, and recognized, but also with that recognition, been under more pressure and had a lot demanded of them. Independent of your partner, would you not be primed anyway for lashing out at a dog, cat, or lamppost, for being irresponsible? (Because you are the one dealing with the aftermath daily)?
I think it’s best to be careful with yourself and your partner during this time.
I wish you some excellent chilling.
Thank you for saving lives!!!!!!!

Not a Doc …but….

Jul 26, 2021 at 4:54pm

I think you are totally justified in the way your feel. Her irresponsible actions, knowing how you feel about them, are a slap in the face!


Jul 26, 2021 at 5:45pm

I totally understand how you feel.I was buying groceries(masked) and a man buying fruit sneezed openly( no mask) wiped his nose with his hand and proceeded to touch the fruit .I was so grossed out!!! Have we learned nothing the last year and a half??? Yes,we are still living in a pandemic people!!!!! If you can't be bothered to wear a mask inside,at least have the decency and consideration to cover your mouth and nose in your sleeve/arm!!!!! My 5 year old nephew even knows how to do this.And I've also noticed people creeping up at the checkouts.This virus is far from finished with us( even for the vaccinated)

My two cents...

Jul 26, 2021 at 5:56pm

You are completely justified to feel that way. I also think you are being totally disrespected by your partner. Unfortunately this pandemic is showing people’s true colors. I wish you well.


Jul 26, 2021 at 7:44pm

I mask in most public places. If we all listen to our top doctors and apply their medical advice that seems to be the best most logical and healthy way forward. Having said that, from experience, I do find it funny that the most judgmentally righteous people who never followed proper protocols, from not wearing masks, not shrinking their bubbles, not isolating, not quarantining, travelling, hoarding groceries, tp...basically putting themselves first and harming everyone around them, seem to be the very same people who now feel they can tell the people who have been diligent and responsible throughout the pandemic how to carry themselves.

It doesn't sound like it's like the latter in your case...If you feel that unheard in your relationship, consider that it might be time to let it go. Gotta say though I'm a little surprised you *endangered* your patients by having a "decently careful" partner at the height of the pandemic. Might be something to reflect on.

Personally, I wouldn't be daft or arrogant enough to think I know more than our top doctors. At some point we have to get back to business and open life and communities back up in a balanced way.

50 6Rating: +44

No you’re not being an A-hole

Jul 26, 2021 at 8:35pm

You’re only being realistic. Sure, lots of people have been getting vaccinated but that doesn’t mean that this pandemic is over. The virus is here to stay on planet earth and it won’t go away. It just means that you won’t die from it once you’re fully vaccinated. Sounds like you and your partner need to have some serious discussions about trust because it seems like that person just does not understand how serious COVID is. It would be great if you and your partner could sit down, talk things over for a while and try to work something out. So that way you both go on living about your normal lives. But if you and your partner are not able to see eye to eye on things, make it very clear that person that you refuse to tolerate their disrespect anymore. And if it doesn’t make any sense to that person, then sadly you’re probably better off going your separate ways. Good luck.

11 3Rating: +8


Jul 26, 2021 at 9:02pm

I never understood the sharing of a cigarette. I would like to smoke the whole thing and not just 50% +/-. I won't share my cigarette with anyone - not even my girlfriend. Light your own!

4 0Rating: +4

This it's not

Jul 26, 2021 at 9:18pm

This is not going away. Forever with us.

8 2Rating: +6

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