Here I Go Again

I'm an aging man with a personality disorder. I like to imagine I'm special, I know now that couldn't be further from reality. I blame it on my mom, we had what therapists called, a dysfunctional family dynamic. Years later, I have all these patterns of blaming people for the things I'm doing. I got away with this very easily in the past, lately, it doesn't work the way it used to. I get called on this quite a lot which sends me down into a spiral. I end up in a drunken stupor embarrassing myself. I wish I had some way to stop it from happening, it is what the condition is. I really have nothing to complain about in comparison to people that are worse off. I'm just so bored with nothing to offer, who am I kidding, I'm jealous as hell, I have to put the people around me in a slump. It makes life a little brighter for me.

19 Comments

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fyodor karamazov?

Aug 25, 2021 at 11:41pm

is it you?

9 4Rating: +5

It's...

Aug 25, 2021 at 11:52pm

... probably no one's fault. Whose fault is the weather?

3 8Rating: -5

Anonymous

Aug 26, 2021 at 12:16am

what age is an 'aging man'?

5 3Rating: +2

You've no business in show business

Aug 26, 2021 at 1:06am

If you can't handle a little disorder.
Here's looking at you id

6 4Rating: +2

Anonymous

Aug 26, 2021 at 2:28am

Blaming other people for your own faults? If you really want to fix this, you're gonna have to somehow intercept it as it happens, and stop it. I bet that's calcified muscle memory and not easy to fix. But any brain can become plastic given the right circumstances. Get you some psychedelics?

5 2Rating: +3

Anonymous

Aug 26, 2021 at 8:00am

Yeah we know Mr White Snake. There's literally millions of entitled guys just like you. Get over yourself and your Oedipal complex. The people you're abusing have put up with your s**t antics long enough.

22 8Rating: +14

Anonymous

Aug 26, 2021 at 8:56am

Every single word you write tells me that you need to stop drinking.

At this point you can 100% blame the booze.

Bo

Aug 26, 2021 at 10:46am

If you have to put people around you in a slump in order to brighten your day,then you need therapy ASAP. You're aware that you have an issue so do something about it.Stop playing the victim and take responsibility for your actions.You sound like an asshole but you don't always have to be one if you truly want to change.

19 2Rating: +17

You're not hopeless

Aug 26, 2021 at 11:33am

There are local clinical psychologists who specialize in personality disorders. If you can't afford that, there's a very good YouTube channel by Dr. Daniel Fox.

6 1Rating: +5

I know someone like you

Aug 26, 2021 at 1:37pm

But they’d never admit it and they might not even believe they’re doing this but they are and it’s awful. Get help.

10 2Rating: +8

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