I hate platitudes

A few weeks ago I lost my two closest and most loved family members under tragic tragic conditions. Think heat dome. Think elder people.. Devastated obviously. As person who does not text or have social media I have mentioned to the people who want to connect with me their sympathies, that I HATE PLATITUDES. They can phone. They can socially distant visit, as I would with them. The long and short of it, is that I have gotten zero. Since they can not give worthless platitudes, they give nothing. I am okay with this. It means, in the tragedy of my lifetime, people choose nothing over something.

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Oh no

Aug 3, 2021 at 2:28pm

That is really appalling behaviour from your friends during this time of devastating loss. I feel your pain. I only wish they could confront the uncomfortable feelings within themselves to support you either in person or via a phone call. And if they don’t, that unfortunately is their true character speaking through the silence.

3 6Rating: -3

Anonymous

Aug 3, 2021 at 2:42pm

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's difficult for many people to know how to offer compassion in times of grief because the are not able to be present and conscious around end of life given their own unprocessed fears . Not an excuse, just a fact. My father died in March and I felt fortunate that, like you, I don't do social media and didn't have to engage superficially about something real. I hope that friends, or others, show up to listen to your stories as you remember those you've lost. Grief is hard. I hope you can be kind to yourself and find others who will be real and kind to you as well.

4 2Rating: +2

I’m sorry but …

Aug 3, 2021 at 7:34pm

I do understand that you want something real. I do understand that you’re experiencing a lot of grief. So perhaps that’s why you’re expressing yourself so harshly. However, if you’re using the same tone with the people you want to hear from, it’s quite possible that you’ve scared them off because they’re afraid to do or say the wrong thing. While I know that we would like to be able to dictate how people approach something so difficult for us, in reality that’s not our place. You’re free to not respond to what you consider to be platitudes, but it’s not really appropriate to tell others how to speak or what they’re allowed to say.

13 2Rating: +11

Silence hurts.

Aug 3, 2021 at 7:45pm

Unfortunately, platitudes is all some people know. They lack the emotional intelligence to speak any other language. In my experience, when topics turn to tragedy, mental illness, death, people just freeze. They have no idea what to say and tend to back away slowly. It’s the rare human being who can speak from the heart. Many just don’t feel comfortable doing so. So rather than risking feeling uncomfortable or vulnerable, they remain silent. And it hurts.

8 2Rating: +6

Just be grateful

Aug 4, 2021 at 7:31am

You have people in your life. Many don't. You're coming off here as angry and entitled. Sorry for your loss just the same.

5 1Rating: +4

Ironic

Aug 4, 2021 at 11:00am

Don't you think?

1 2Rating: -1

Anonymous

Aug 4, 2021 at 8:51pm

Your post is ridiculous.
What the hell you trying to say ?
If you did in fact loose people, sorry for your loss.
You come into this world alone you leave alone.
Simplicity

2 2Rating: 0

Trite back at you

Aug 4, 2021 at 11:02pm

Good lord. “ I have mentioned to the people who want to connect with me their sympathies, that I HATE PLATITUDES.” So people have reached out, and you’ve told them you HATE TRITE MEANINGLESS WORDS. If I contacted you to say “I’m sorry for your loss” and you hit me with a barrage of “I hate the words you are using, get more creative and profound, immediately!” that would be the last you heard from me. What a bitter pill you are.

7 1Rating: +6

This isn't about "platitudes."

Aug 4, 2021 at 11:24pm

And it isn't about the deceased. It's about your anger at some or all human beings. It might be justifiable but it's also killing you.

8 1Rating: +7

Harsh thoughts

Aug 7, 2021 at 2:20pm

I hate platitudes and superficial bulshit too. I'm sorry for your loss. I had a friend die from heat exhaustion during the heat dome as well. She lay on her kitchen floor for 6 or 7 hours for an ambulance that never came. I was told, by at least 3 different people, that people die all the time. I'm 62, I already know that. Sometimes it's better to say nothing all instead of some type of condescending tripe. I hope you are well and able to overcome this tragic and unnecessary event.

1 2Rating: -1

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