I Suck at Dating

I particularly suck at screening. I have a pattern of falling for people that turn out to be dishonest, selfish, bigoted, racist, homophobic...the list goes on. I mean I figure it out pretty quick, but why don't I see it on my first date or even before? Fuck!

12 Comments

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Healthy People...

Aug 3, 2021 at 2:39pm

choose healthy people. Therapy is where I started when I noticed this pattern in my 20s. Also, I read a book called "Getting the Love you Want" by H. Hendrix. It worked because I did the work. I found him. you can too. Good luck.

14 4Rating: +10

Common Denominator?

Aug 3, 2021 at 2:40pm

Fact is, you're attracted to those kinds

6 13Rating: -7

Maybe...

Aug 3, 2021 at 3:36pm

Could be because they're hiding their ugly side from you on the first few dates as they want to impress you.

Once they relax, boom!

20 2Rating: +18

Not your fault

Aug 3, 2021 at 6:33pm

Agree with 'Maybe' - it's a public persona they wear. Read up on NPD for clarity. They always have a lot of the antis/phobics you describe. The first comment assumes "man" but any gender can have those traits. All the same when you learn the patterns. Listen to your intuition, it always senses the red flags. Self-love, heal/release your inner wounds, know and communicate your boundaries. Communicating boundaries is usually the quickest way to find out what lurks within :)

15 1Rating: +14

Anonymous

Aug 3, 2021 at 7:55pm

These "look in the mirror" comments are cheap shots to make people feel better about themselves by putting someone down.

17 1Rating: +16

Anonymous

Aug 3, 2021 at 9:50pm

Just putting this out there, I may be totally wrong of course…

I don’t think I know anyone that is dishonest, selfish, bigoted, racist and homophobic, and I know exceptionally few people who are even one or two of those things. The vast majority of people that I know I wouldn’t put any of those labels on.

Is there a chance you have your meter dialed up to the ultra detection setting? I can certainly look at myself and my views on things and fully realize that not everyone shares my views, but that doesn’t mean that I or the other person are racist, bigoted, homophobic, etc., it’s just a difference of opinion in most cases. Also, I have certainly lied about things through my life. I don’t believe that makes me dishonest. “Yes, I had a great time” or “no, sorry I don’t have time to take your survey” does not a dishonest person make in my opinion.

I think that these days people tend to vilify those who have different opinions far more often than they used to, but then again I don’t know your situation.

You start with suck

Aug 4, 2021 at 2:13am

And end with fuck. Sorry I didn't catch the other part

1 6Rating: -5

been there, changed that

Aug 4, 2021 at 8:06am

I've been there as well and it was due to one reason; my self-worth. I didn't feel they would be interested if they knew the real me and my values so I didn't share them or demand them from the start. I also avoided asking too many personal questions in fear of scaring them off.
Do yourself a favour, spend time on the phone with these potentials and get to know them before you invest in a date. You can learn a lot about someone just by talking and asking open ended questions. Good luck to you,

6 0Rating: +6

@ Anonymous

Aug 4, 2021 at 4:18pm

Those "look in the mirror" comments are not cheap shots.
It's called taking responsibility for one's own actions and learning from your mistakes,instead of blaming others for them.
It's always easier to claim victim hood than to face reality, and the world would be 100x better if people started doing so.

4 9Rating: -5

Mirror

Aug 4, 2021 at 8:47pm

Who even mentioned a mirror.
Damn your stupid.
Don't need a mirror for that.
You comment says it all
Lol

1 6Rating: -5

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