Just a gigolo

I confess that I’m feeling sorry for a guy who’s been a victim of his good looks. I’ve known him since high school. He was typically handsome and tall and strong, all of the stuff that appeals to lots of women. He wasn’t smart in school, but he had personality and learned how to get by based on that and his charm. But as he’s aged I’ve noticed that he seems sadder. He had so many women fall for him that he never thought he’d really need to “settle” for just one. He seemed to gravitate to older women or at least ones who had enough money that he could hang out with them at their place on their dime and be comfortable. Lots of them paid for trips for him, gave him keys to their place, gave him expensive gifts, etc. Once I joked with him that he was just a gigolo (like the song) and he looked at me like he’d been caught in the act. Shocked and guilty at the same time. So now he’s old and alone. His looks faded and he didn’t have much else to rely on because he never really developed anything else. I truly feel like he’s been a victim in many ways, just like many beautiful women have been used solely for their looks. I wonder how his life might have turned out differently if he hadn’t been born with those looks. Would he have developed the ability to truly connect with another person? Would he have learned how to do things for himself instead of depending on others to do basic life-skill stuff for him? I’m a pretty average looking guy but I’m in a supportive long-term relationship. I’ve got kids and a family. He spends almost all of his time with his aged parent, or desperately trying to find another woman to support him. It’s sad to watch but at the same time I confess that I also feel like saying “I told you so!” to him.


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Don't cry for me Bourgeoisie

Aug 22, 2021 at 2:22am

Sounds like you're a teensy wheensy bit envious. Nature alas doesn't distribute minerals equitably


Aug 22, 2021 at 3:53am

He had it and he had it good. End of story.

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Aug 22, 2021 at 5:42am

Yeah, some women love the arm candy too. There's this myth that all women want a deep, meaningful relationship and looks aren't so important, but I also know some tall, good-looking men who are dim-witted bimbos, that have always been popular with women. All genders can be pretty shallow.

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maybe, just maybe

Aug 22, 2021 at 6:21am

he's too shallow and self absorbed to even think about a long term relationship and just doesn't have the capacity.

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Buffalo stance

Aug 22, 2021 at 6:24am

This post reads kinda gossipy tbh. Is this person negatively intruding on your life in some way or could you just leave him to live his without the crushing weight of your judgment?

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This is what I read

Aug 22, 2021 at 6:44am

So he lived a life that you sound a bit envious of to be honest. You go on about your perfect life and gloat about how miserable you think he is.

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Humble brag

Aug 22, 2021 at 6:46am

There is more than one way to live.

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Words to Live By

Aug 22, 2021 at 6:50am

When I was in my early twenties, I was fortunate enough to be told by a wise old gentleman, "You can get by on cute for about an hour. After that, you'd better have something worthwhile to say." That piece of advice really sank in and made my life better.

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this is the sad byproduct of society functioning the way it

Aug 22, 2021 at 8:01am

i must say. what i got more out of your confession was less about him but the older women using him at their disposal, and this happens vice versa more often as well, the sugar daddy/sugar baby transactional relationship. the sugar baby is commodified by adults and society rips them apart afterwards because they are talentless without work ethic but they are beautiful so we do not care if they're used up dry. which is deeply depressing. human society has always been ugly. directors using actresses at their own volition. our porn industry reliant on addiction and the disconnect from other human beings. the soullessness tinder has generated, we want someone who has it all and then to dump them off and move to someone else new. there are more examples outside of relationships but the fact is, even the best of us to slighter degrees, have conditioned ourselves to dehumanize others for our own gain. i think we could afford to look at other folks as fully realized beings and respect that more. sad for your friend, he's lucky to have you to see him through his struggle and recognize it. you might be the one to encourage him and have him realize he is capable of steering his own life and joy, i imagine he relies on others because he doesn't believe himself capable of anything.

when everyone tells you that you're beautiful, dumb, and won't amount to anything, you come to believe it yourself. as much as we want to see ourselves as fully formed by our willpower, others shape us just as much.

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Question OP

Aug 22, 2021 at 8:27am

How old is he now?

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