Sinking while trying to stay afloat

I feel my lips curl into a smile, I say “im doing okay, I’ve been busy.” No one wants to know your truth. They don’t want to sit there and listen to your sadness. They have there own Shit to deal with or they simply can’t help or understand. Sometimes I feel like my mind is drowning and im in a ocean full on thoughts. Sometimes my mind swims among the happy thoughts and it just floats, then there’s a wave. It crashes and pushes my brain around. It gets spun out to a bunch of thoughts that are harmful. It makes me feel drained and I feel like im sinking. Im not sure how to stay afloat. I try the lifeboat of pumping air throughout my brain, I drink the non salted water, but I can’t seem to get a grip. I keep on trying to fix the lifeboat, or try to purify the water, but it doesn’t seem to fix the taste.

16 Comments

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Same here

Aug 25, 2021 at 8:26am

Also struggling hard at the moment. Feeling broken and scared about how badly it’s going and how much I’m working to cover for it. Afraid to be found out and that I won’t be back to normal again. Focussing I’m keeping myself alive as top priority and praying the rest will follow with time. I know I’m not the only one - sending strength hope you make it through

12 1Rating: +11

Ugh

Aug 25, 2021 at 10:54am

You know, if you took the brave step of answering honestly instead of playing the fake okay game, I bet your friends would be so relieved to have a space they could be honest in too. I used to be like you and always felt alone, even in a crowd. Now, I have deeper friendships than ever, and it all started with admitting when I'm struggling, which helped create the safety for my pals to do the same. I think we need a lot more actual honesty in our society.

12 3Rating: +9

Anonymous

Aug 25, 2021 at 11:05am

1) don't waste your time arguing with knuckleheads. When you argue with a fool, there are two fools arguing. 2) Help yourself by helping those in need, but also know this: You can't help anyone who does not first want to help themselves. 3) Relax, breath in and breath out; know that this planet is just a school of hard knocks and we are all loved and all is good in the big picture ... OCM Sto:lo Coast Salish salutations

5 1Rating: +4

I understand

Aug 25, 2021 at 6:38pm

I totally get what you’re saying. Because I’m in the same boat. I have no idea if you’ve considered seeing a counsellor or psychotherapist but I highly recommend it as doing so helps me. Your feelings are valid and it’s essential to get them out and talking to a professional provides much needed support. I have good days and bad days; I try to keep perspective on things: no one I know has gotten COVID and died on me, I have a roof over my head, I’m healthy. I am sending you good thoughts and know that you are not alone in this.

11 1Rating: +10

Lifeboat

Aug 25, 2021 at 8:32pm

It's the name of of movie from the 50's. If you haven't seen it, it's only ninety minutes long. It depicts exactly what you're saying and well worth the time.

2 1Rating: +1

Hide the pain Harold

Aug 25, 2021 at 9:59pm

Same!

3 1Rating: +2

@Ugh

Aug 25, 2021 at 10:13pm

This is my confession to you: even when you’re saying something I might agree with, I’m so irritated by your “Ugh” handle that I don’t even want to read your comment, let alone upvote it. Just sayin’.

3 7Rating: -4

@@ugh

Aug 25, 2021 at 11:44pm

not me in this comments section but i've used Ugh once (and in proper grammar, it depends on the mood) and i think, perhaps, many of us feel "Ugh"? it seems to be a handle that could be used by many once

8 1Rating: +7

Sounds like

Aug 26, 2021 at 9:15am

Your swimming circles in a moat, time to grow some legs and climb that mountain.

1 1Rating: 0

@@@Ugh

Aug 26, 2021 at 1:05pm

There are near infinite of us who post as Ugh. I come across Ugh comments not by me all the time on here and it makes me chuckle - many of them are similar to what I would say, and many are nothing I would ever say. I also post under a few other handles that are used my multiple users. I think Ugh is about a level of exhaustion with all the terrible in the world, nothing you should take personally.

5 1Rating: +4

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