Can't stop thinking about a person from my past

I'm engaged to someone else and haven't seen this person in like 8 years but we started talking a few months back and now they are all I can think about. We talk daily about everything. They are also in a relationship and say they want me just as bad... I have never been so tempted in my life...

14 Comments

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Two questions for contemplation

Sep 14, 2021 at 3:53pm

1. What are you trying to escape from?

2. What are you seeking in this connection that is currently missing from your life?

19 2Rating: +17

Good luck

Sep 14, 2021 at 4:12pm

Maybe you should introduce your partners to each other. They may hit it off and find the partners they actually deserve.

24 2Rating: +22

Bo

Sep 14, 2021 at 4:14pm

Please break off your engagement...it's obviously clear you are not ready to make this commitment if you are having an emotional affair(so far) with this other person.And the grass always seems to be greener on the other side but often it's not.You sound emotionally immature and unsure of what to do.You broke the trust when you either reached out to this person or responded.If you want to be with this other person that's your business but if you care even an ounce for your fiance,you'll break it off and allow them to eventually move on.It sounds like you've already made your decision so don't be a total asshole about it.Your finance deserves to know you are untrustworthy,not to mention you're probably lying to them as well.Do the right thing .

34 3Rating: +31

The person you're engaged to doesn't deserve this.

Sep 14, 2021 at 9:04pm

Put on your big boy/girl pants and tell them what's been going on. At the very least, they deserve the truth.

21 3Rating: +18

Well then

Sep 15, 2021 at 1:33am

I have to agree with the above comment that it’s obvious that you’re not ready to get married to your fiancé. I’m not going to judge you for your confession because you’re just a human being and therefore you’re fallible like everyone else. But definitely you’re cheating on your fiancé and you owe it to him / her to be honest. It’s hard to do that because I’m sure that you do care for them very much and you don’t want to hurt them, but you must do this anyway. As the old saying goes, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

11 1Rating: +10

You will continue

Sep 15, 2021 at 1:52am

to think of them till the cathectic energy runs out. Or until the universe winds down. Whichever comes first

5 1Rating: +4

wow

Sep 15, 2021 at 7:04am

you're stringing along your fiance for some nebulous fantasy-driven-so-called relationship which is certainly doomed once you try to rekindle it. you don't deserve your fiance and need to call off the wedding now! what an effin' jerk you are. your fiance probably already knows something's up as you aren't as emotionally invested because of your cowardly distraction. sabotage!

12 1Rating: +11

This is a real confession

Sep 15, 2021 at 1:54pm

It’s an ugly one too, but also a common situation so I guess a lot of people relate to one side or another.

I don’t know you obviously but I have some ideas.

One is to wait it out. Sexual attraction is real and powerful but the infatuation part that seems to dominate your thoughts now won’t be there in six months.

Two is to break up and play around cuz yolo

Three is to be an honest person and talk about your situation with your partner. It’s going to be painful but if you were really going to marry, you would face this problem sooner or later. This is the “for worse” part of “for better or worse” but it’s something that happens to people with normal mammals regardless of our Disney fantasies. Couples counseling might be involved or a breakup or a limited openness clause or who knows, but if you are truly in it for the long haul you’re going to both have to learn how to deal with all kinds of awful shit.

Anyway good luck and don’t be a jerk

12 1Rating: +11

jealous

Sep 16, 2021 at 9:01pm

of getting f*ck*d in some random parking lot? sounds very unappealing but do please go on woman expert lol

1 1Rating: 0

Ummmm

Sep 17, 2021 at 12:32pm

Do not get married. No one should, but especially you

3 2Rating: +1

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