stupid and used

there was a person i texted with for months before meeting them because of distance. everyday. lengthy conversations often. i thought i meant something to them and greatly looked forward to meeting, it was wonderful when i did except for the part where they weren't interested in me romantically. we still texted everyday. i don't know why they did that just as i don't know why i kept replying. things happened, we stopped talking. i can't help but feel stupid and used. stupid for knowing better, used for that they never cared. you live and you learn but some bruises are worse than others. at least the rain is beautiful, healing.

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Must be a guy

Sep 18, 2021 at 4:50am

A woman wouldn't feel "used" from having conversations.

4 9Rating: -5

people

Sep 18, 2021 at 5:31am

the things they do sometimes no one can understand it. not even themselves.

6 1Rating: +5

there

Sep 18, 2021 at 6:45am

is nothing i can think of that is worse than when one anticipates a romance with someone and the other person does not feel the same. you will get beyond this. but i bet you will not do that text thing again.

9 1Rating: +8

I'm really sorry that you feel used

Sep 18, 2021 at 9:20am

but from this end it doesn't look anything like that. It sounds like a great friendship was happening, and hopefully sparks would fly when you met in person. But they didn't, at least on one end. You do realize that BOTH of YOU need to feel the chemistry (sparks) for a relationship to actually happen and work eh? Without that mutual feeling, that boat is going down from the word go.
And then you say this person continued texting with you as if that was a bad thing? Is there something wrong with being friends? Your whole take on this makes me think of you as being a high-schooler. Time to grow the fuck up and appreciate what you actually have, instead of whining about every little thing.

6 7Rating: -1

This is why

Sep 18, 2021 at 1:25pm

I don't go in for long texting. I'd rather set up a real date as soon as it is practical.

8 2Rating: +6

In this wild and wacky world; don't take things personally

Sep 18, 2021 at 4:30pm

Relationships are like water; they find their own level. If one hoped for relationship doesn't work, just go about living the good life and the Universe will send you what you need >>>> "If you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you." Carl Jung >>>> Forever Young :-)

9 2Rating: +7

op @I'm really sorry that you feel used

Sep 18, 2021 at 6:38pm

i'm mostly upset at myself, i don't think people are getting that but perhaps i didn't express myself clearly enough. sorry. but we did sext, had sex, et cetera, it was a little more intimate than friendship but neither romantic. anyways, i'm trying to move on now.

6 1Rating: +5

If only…

Sep 18, 2021 at 8:24pm

…people felt comfortable just saying exactly what they want from the get-go. Oh, wait a minute, lots of them do, but still they get accused of “leading someone on” if the other person ignores what they were told in the hopes that the object of their affection will change their mind. I have a female friend who dates and has told guys up front that she’s not interested in anything other than fwb at this time. But still some guys fall for her and then get angry when she doesn’t fall for them too. I think that we all need to be reminded that when someone tells you from the beginning what they want that we should accept that. Unless they specifically say that their feelings have changed, then don’t expect them to be anything more than casual. If you can’t handle that because you’re in love with them, it’s best to move on.

7 3Rating: +4

You're not stupid, OP

Sep 18, 2021 at 9:26pm

What you're describing is legitimately heartbreaking and I get it. The level of ADD in the dating scene has been cranked up to 11 for the last little while. You are not alone in being used. This is socially pathological behaviour and has nothing to do with you personally.

Also, please go easy on yourself for replying to this person's texts. It speaks to the fact that you care, not that you are stupid. However, keep in mind that when people's brains are wired for endless options they will take full advantage. Ultimately it is up to you to close the door. You absolutely have that power and I know you can do it!

Best wishes and take care of that good heart of yours while the universe prepares to send you someone deserving of it.

12 1Rating: +11

B. Alert

Sep 19, 2021 at 8:30am

Check all your bank statements and other important things. Sneaky little snakes out there.
Make sure everything is secure.

1 1Rating: 0

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