Decency

I guess it’s too much to ask that people treat each other with a modicum of respect or compassion. After several years of being single after being with a super toxic and abusive woman, I put myself out there online. I was hesitant, I have not had the best of luck with women in this city, but out of loneliness I tried. I wish I had not. I know it’s harder for men online. I know there are reasons for that. But I have super LOW expectations and I’m still shocked at how shitty people can be. I’m not even looking for sex. I would just like to meet good and honest people. But maybe they don’t exist here. I don’t know anymore. About anything.

28 Comments

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Not gender related

Oct 9, 2021 at 3:54pm

There are just a lot of shitty people out there. There are also many previously successful people in free fall still thinking they are pre-pandemic versions of themselves and are toxic as f*ck. Have self compassion first and foremost, this winter is going to be a socially bumpy ride.

26 3Rating: +23

Maybe

Oct 9, 2021 at 5:02pm

Have some higher expectations.

5 10Rating: -5

Sorry to say

Oct 9, 2021 at 5:09pm

From what I hear, if you want to kick your self esteem in the ass go online and try to meet someone. There are prob success stories somewhere but the recounting of what goes on in the chat stages all the way to actually meeting the person I've heard are less than wonderful and some enough to scar your soul. Join a club or social circle online or in person if allowed and meet people face to face. Donate time to the animal shelters. Good luck and make the best of it and have a happy Thanksgiving!

25 2Rating: +23

This has proved true in my life

Oct 9, 2021 at 5:51pm

“No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you.” - Carl Jung

20 8Rating: +12

Online dating

Oct 9, 2021 at 7:09pm

All that online dating provides is access to a pool of people who proclaim to be single. There is no way to filter for kindness or as you put it, decency. I also think that dating apps bring out the worst in even the kindest, most decent people.

23 3Rating: +20

But what if…

Oct 9, 2021 at 9:32pm

the problem isn’t that they’re all shitty people? Have you considered that possibly it’s your own behaviour that’s creating your problems? I mean, you’re the common denominator here. I know so many guys who say exactly the same thing. Their ex is toxic and crazy. The women they meet are all awful and the only reason that they haven’t found their dream woman is because they’re not rich and over 6’ tall. They call themselves “such a nice guy”, and they all refuse to believe that any of their problems finding a partner have anything to do with them. I’m sorry but the odds are not in your favour that you’re just an innocent victim of “all” of these so-called shitty people. Take a very long hard look at yourself, and ask what it is that YOU bring to the table before you blame all women for your lack of success with us.

Anonymous

Oct 9, 2021 at 10:12pm

80 percent of women are trying to land the top 10 percent of men.

80 percent of men are trying to land the top 10 percent of women.

No matter how you slice it there is going to be a lot of disappointment and disillusionment generated every day unless you are in the too 10 percent of your gender. If you aren’t in the top 10 percent, count yourself lucky if you eventually land someone who you can tolerate.

17 9Rating: +8

I’m a woman

Oct 9, 2021 at 11:45pm

That just deleted all of the contacts on a dating ap. Maybe you were one of them. Maybe you were the one that asked me out last week for this weekend. And never followed up to make plans. So I interpreted that as a lack of interest. And deleted the contact.

15 3Rating: +12

1992 characters remaining

Oct 10, 2021 at 12:14am

Honest people do exist but they are harder to find. Most of them I'd think are stowed away at home all the time. Possibly because going outside will welcome you with liars and bigots. Not many people are real any more, but I speak for just the Vancouver area. We are living in a fake world. Fake meaning personality and even looks. Hollywood North they call it. If you're not pretty, you're a waste of space.

21 6Rating: +15

@Anonymous

Oct 10, 2021 at 1:50am

Actually your examples are incorrect- 80% of all women will get responses. Only 10 to 20% of men will get any.

23 6Rating: +17

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