Sick of drunks

I confess that I’m losing my patience having to be around too many drunks. I have compassion. I know they’re sick. Two of them are relatives and they’re both good people with kind hearts. But they’re completely obnoxious to be around. They’re loud and clueless about how their behaviour affects the people around them. They’re both flat broke and mooch off of the rest of us and spend what little money they do have on booze and cigarettes. They’re constantly in some kind of trouble that the rest of us end up having to deal with. Rarely have I ever heard either of them acknowledge their own responsibility for the state of their lives; it’s always someone else’s fault. So right now I’m fed up. I don’t want to be around them. I’m sick of listening to their drunken rants and I’m sick of cleaning up their messes, literally and figuratively. I wish I could just walk away and wash my hands of the both of them. But, I love them and I feel trapped by that.

10 Comments

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Alcohol

Oct 18, 2021 at 4:05pm

is very powerful and most people dont give it the respect it deserves. That said, I mostly avoid my friends who drink. Their behaviour is disgusting and of course, nothin is ever their fault because BOOZE!!!!

2 0Rating: +2

One piece of advice….

Oct 18, 2021 at 7:37pm

….cut your losses; may as well save yourself. There’s no hope for them at this point.

10 0Rating: +10

Anonymous

Oct 18, 2021 at 7:55pm

Alkies feed off of love, and concern like vampires.

12 1Rating: +11

Anonymous

Oct 19, 2021 at 4:21am

I'd highly recommend Al Anon which is a support group for families and friends of alcoholics.

Walk away, yes it will be hard as hell, but you can't save someone that doesn't want to save themselves or further enable their behaviour. Often they need to hit rock bottom for something to change, but not always. You can't change someone else, only yourself and your actions as painful as that is.

3 0Rating: +3

Anonymous

Oct 19, 2021 at 4:32am

Maybe you should move out of there home and stop mooching off them. Find your own place to live because you sound so damn unhappy.
Also you sound like a very judgemental person.
Have a great day !

1 13Rating: -12

There's a name for that...

Oct 19, 2021 at 6:16am

It's called emotional blackmail, addicts, drunks are the best at trying to make you feel bad for establishing boundaries, for saying no to their crap, for trying to protect yourself and your own sanity. Been there done that. Best thing you can do is separate yourself physically and psychologically. This isn't love. They're using you. Going through it again now - an addict trying to re-establish contact after I cut them off a few short years ago. Not interested, no room in my life for their emotional abuse. Can't fix someone who has given themselves brain damage from their bad habits (not drinking anymore but still using prescribed opioids and benzos??!! oh yeah, that's better - NOT!). Just another round of bullshit for no reason. No sympathy left, drained dry from their crap. My life got better immediately after they finally got the message. Took several tries to untangle myself from their tentacles of shit but has been well worth it, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You are not a bad person for cutting them out of your life, you've obviously done all you can but for what? Good luck.

13 1Rating: +12

Alcoholics

Oct 19, 2021 at 10:38am

almost always end up beating their wives. Ive seen it.

5 0Rating: +5

@Anonymous

Oct 19, 2021 at 10:10pm

Not only do I not live in their home, it’s they who live in another relative’s home and do the all the mooching. I’m not going to erase them from my life because I don’t live with them and I can get away when it becomes too much. But I definitely do get very frustrated by having to constantly bail them out of one disaster after another, because if I don’t they will cause immeasurable hurt to the person in who’s home they do live. It’s a very difficult and complicated situation, and I’m just so sick of having to listen to their sob stories. If it wasn’t for this other person I would absolutely cut off all support, because I know all about emotional blackmail. I don’t fall for any of it, but they’re family so I wind up having to deal with them like it or not. I’ve thought about AlAnon but since I’m powerless to do anything about the situation in any real sense I’m not sure what good it would do other than give me a place to vent.

1 0Rating: +1

Dr. Real

Oct 20, 2021 at 7:18am

Be accountable for yourself and break the trauma bonds because nobody is ever obligated to harbor & enable other adults dysfunction for them. Own your life & respect yourself. You deserve it!

3 0Rating: +3

TO O.P. from There's a name for that...

Oct 22, 2021 at 1:58pm

If the person they are living with is elderly or a parent, this is abuse. If the person they are living with is disabled or vulnerable, this is abuse. If I read you right, by you cutting off the addicts will put the person at risk that you are trying to protect, it might be worthwhile to have these parasites removed from the house. It can be done. I haven't attended an Al-Anon meeting but I have been to AA and Narcotics Anonymous meetings in support of other people and can see the benefits of going. Al-Anon might be a good start for you, you are certainly not alone in this type of scenario and you can explore other resources the members can share with you. Do go. You can be better equipped to help your family member and in turn help yourself before you have a nervous breakdown. Let us know how things work out. Hugs!

1 0Rating: +1

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