SNOOP

I just learned that my wife of 25 years slept with another man a few years ago. He's a work "friend". I busted her under identical circumstances a few years ago, we worked through it , or past it , though I honestly never truly got over it. Apparently she has a thing for fat-headed bald dudes with wet-lip. Jesus, what does that say about what I bring to the table in her mind. Now to find out that there were more, and even during our time of no secrets and brutal honesty in our road to repair she still hid this from me. I don't know what to do. I feel to bring it up would be re-hashing old news that is supposed to be in our past. She doesn't know that I know, and I feel sick to my stomach. I love her and dont' want to lose what we have. But a big part of me wants to spit this in her face and make her explain. It's childish and I know that I should suck it up, but as much as I can reason with myself, 2 minutes later it's bubbling away in my brain. I can't seem to let it go. At a base level, I know that I would have been better off just leaving her phone alone. But I barely had to dig to find this out. Now I worry about what I would find if I spent more than the 2 minute sneak peak I took. FUCK ME.

19 Comments

Post a Comment

If it’s any consolation….

Oct 8, 2021 at 5:58pm

…you got the last part right!

3 6Rating: -3

@OP

Oct 8, 2021 at 6:23pm

"But a big part of me wants to spit this in her face and make her explain. It's childish and I know that I should suck it up"

No, don't fall for the "woke" trap of polyamory and feeling guilty for hating a cheating wife.
She doesn't love you, so you shouldn't love her.
Run.

33 3Rating: +30

Anonymous

Oct 8, 2021 at 7:24pm

DTMFA?

15 1Rating: +14

What u

Oct 8, 2021 at 7:47pm

Need to do is KICK HER ASS TO THE CURB! And hope she did not give u a disease.

23 1Rating: +22

Trust

Oct 8, 2021 at 9:34pm

Trust is such a huge part of any successful relationship. If you can’t trust the person who’s supposed to be your partner, then what have you actually got? Once that trust is broken, and particularly after it’s be broken more than once, I’m not sure what there is left. I feel so badly for you, I truly do. I’m going to be brutally honest though. I don’t think this situation is fixable. At one time I’d have thought differently, but after a great deal of life experience (in my late 60’s with several relationships) I’ve come to the conclusion that this type of thing is almost always the death of a relationship, unless the cheated-on party decides to accept and ignore it. And in the cases I’ve known where they tried that, it still didn’t really work, because although they stayed together, one of them was always miserably sad. So I wish you luck in whatever you decide, and you have my sympathies.

27 1Rating: +26

been there

Oct 8, 2021 at 10:12pm

Read the website Chump Lady (yes, even though you're a dude). Then keep reading it again and again until you get the strength to face it all head-on. I would do some more snooping, if I were you. Cheaters don't stop cheating, they just get better at hiding it.

26 1Rating: +25

Anonymous

Oct 8, 2021 at 10:43pm

Clearly, if she didn’t come clean about this one during the period of brutal honesty…this is someone you can never, ever trust. The betrayals keep magnifying. Only you know how much humiliation you can bear.

21 2Rating: +19

Page Turner

Oct 9, 2021 at 6:42am

What the heck is"wet lip" in this instance? And yeah, cheaters never stop they just take breaks. Get brave ... dump her.

9 1Rating: +8

Chances are...

Oct 9, 2021 at 7:52am

Second chances are a good idea. Third chances not so much.

If this was happening to your best friend, what advice would you give him.

17 1Rating: +16

"Dont worry

Oct 9, 2021 at 10:03am

he's just a friend." She explained.

He was in fact, much more than a friend.

11 1Rating: +10

Join the Discussion

What's your name?