Think I fell in love with a poet

and I'm not so jaded anymore. I wish he could understand that I didn't want to just have sex. I just have a habit of starting with that, and assuming that's all men want from me. I don't feel beautiful, or intellectual, or skillful, or interesting. That doesn't mean those things are true, but as a result, I've always used my body as a means to feel less alone.

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Flip Side

Oct 17, 2021 at 11:21am

and I'm not so jaded anymore. I wish she could understand that I didn't want to just have sex nor pay for everything. I just have a habit of starting with that, being coerced into paying for dinners,bills, etc and assuming that's all women want from me. I don't feel handsome, or intellectual, or skillful, or interesting. That doesn't mean those things are true, but as a result, I've always used my financial assets as a means to feel less

8 5Rating: +3

Question

Oct 17, 2021 at 11:58am

When you break up with people, are you honest about you, or do you gas light and say it's them. Just curious because you sound like a few people I have been with whose break up could've been easy peasy if they said what you said. Being boy crazy but honest in real life is not a bad thing. :)

2 1Rating: +1

7 tips on how to express your love through your actions

Oct 17, 2021 at 3:22pm

(Note: these are all assuming this guy is a good dude and not a narcissistic asshole who is gaslighting you and activating your insecurities:)

1. Take the initiative to plan some out-of-the-house activities and ask him out on dates that don't revolve around sex.

2. Make and commit to plans ahead of time. Nobody likes being an afterthought booty call.

3. Be attentive and present. Put your phone away while hanging out in person. Listen and ask questions. Show him you want to get to know him.

4. Ask him when his birthday is, remember the date, and help him to feel special on that day. Plan some quality time over the holidays and on other special occasions, such as Valentine's Day to show him he is a priority.

5. Get to know the different love languages (words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch), note how his may be different than yours, and work to bridge the gap.

6. If he expresses that he cares, don't lie to protect yourself and pretend that you don't. Mindfuckery is not cool.

7. Take responsibility for your own feelings and stories by tracing back your insecurities to their source in childhood. Recognize that while the icky things that are arising are valid and not your fault, it is ultimately your responsibility to compost and transform them. Therapy, books, videos, or even astrology/tarot used responsibly can be helpful here.

Good luck OP. Your story is similar to many others out there and you are not alone. Sex is not your only superpower and you are absolutely worthy of care and love!

5 3Rating: +2

Average Poe

Oct 17, 2021 at 5:24pm

How come I never got to score?
Quoth the incel, Nevermore.

5 5Rating: 0

Really now

Oct 17, 2021 at 7:09pm

It sounds like your selling yourself short.
If your happy just sexing up men and getting nothing out of it . Your comments come across like you don't think very highly of yourself right now.
Be proud of you and make them work for it.
Unless sex is all you really want then carry on !
Men will keep taking that shit all day, everyday, even on Sunday's. Lol

2 2Rating: 0

J. Hill

Oct 17, 2021 at 10:03pm

Slam... poetry. YELLING! Angry???? WAVING MY HANDS A LOT! Specific point of view on things! Cynthia! Cyn-thi-a! Jesus died for our sin-thi-as! Jesus cried, runaway bride. Julia Roberts! Julia Rob-hurts????! Cynthia! Mmmmmmmm, Cynthia. You're dead. You are dead, bop boop beep bop bop boop bop. You're dead. That's for Cynthia... who's dead.

1 3Rating: -2

Sounds like

Oct 18, 2021 at 9:10am

You've betrayed yourself.

4 0Rating: +4

Correction

Oct 18, 2021 at 2:17pm

I just have a habit of starting with that, and assuming that's all *that the men I choose* want from me.

There,fixed it.

5 2Rating: +3

Artists

Oct 18, 2021 at 2:42pm

Make terrible partners. They are typically in love with themselves

9 4Rating: +5

You all

Oct 18, 2021 at 6:10pm

are assuming quite a lot. But I'll tell one of the commenters that it's not about who you choose, I understand that it starts with myself. Respecting myself. If I don't feel joy from myself, it'll never happen from anyone else... I do know this much.

0 0Rating: 0

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