I confess, I don't get it

Women in their fifties playing teenage games... Why? What is it you want? She got mad at me years ago when I told her she looked good. It was surprising to me, I wasn't being creepy, I've said that to hundreds of women in my life and have only had women smile, say thanks etc. Her friends told me she's a bit of a weirdo... Fast forward three years... When she walks past me I ignore her, mostly because I don't want to catch shit from her for being nice to her. She walks by more and more often. Then she starts looking over and smiling at me as she passes. After a few of these I go and ask her out, she won't give me her number so I give her mine. She never calls, stops smiling at me when she passes etc. I ask her if she's ever going to call me. She says; "leave me alone", so I do. Then she contacts me on a shitty dating site. By this point I'm fed up with the childish games so my response on the website isn't exactly gentlemanly. So be it. We're both in our fifties, we both look good and are attracted to each other but , hair flips and sideways glances are all she seems to be about.... Lady, I'm an adult, not a teenager. I'm not looking for a woman my age who wants to play games. I'm not interested in games and I don't have time for them either. And, a, neither do you.

28 Comments

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C'mon, sweetheart, why don't you just smile?

Nov 21, 2021 at 5:09pm

Woman here. From where I'm standing, it doesn't sound like she's playing games, it sounds like she wants you to stay the F away from her and you can't read the room.

Let it go and try your luck elsewhere.

4 39Rating: -35

Anonymous

Nov 21, 2021 at 6:30pm

How many red flags do you need? She's a nutter, move on.

39 2Rating: +37

Avoid all game players

Nov 21, 2021 at 7:00pm

People who play "push and pull" are screwed up. They don't know how to be honest with themselves and that's you biggest signal that they won't be upfront with their feelings or with you. In fact, the more you try to cut the BS, the more games they will play, guaranteed.
These types claim to hate drama yet that is exactly what they cultivate.
Do yourself a huge favor: cut them out of your life, ignore them, have as little to do with them and avoid getting to know them.
Time is precious and valuable so put the attention on people who respond positively. Genuine people know what they want, and don't play games.

31 2Rating: +29

oh great

Nov 21, 2021 at 8:35pm

here I am tired of women in their late 20's early 30's playing these kinda games, thinkin it will get better soon, and you're saying it doesnt. fantastic

25 2Rating: +23

Why here?

Nov 21, 2021 at 9:29pm

So why don’t you say this to her directly?

12 3Rating: +9

@Anonymous

Nov 21, 2021 at 9:42pm

I don't believe for a second that the woman is a nutter. Read the post again:

1. OP hits on the woman and she doesn't like it, therefore she is a "weirdo," concluded by the OP after gossiping with her so-called friends.

2. OP assumes that the acts of walking by and smiling are signs that the woman is begging for a date. She makes it clear she is not by refusing to disclose her number.

3. OP continues to harass the woman to call him after having given her a number she didn't ask for and she says "leave me alone."

4. OP interprets hair flips and sideways glances as flirting. (Can't women just get their hair out of their face and give some organic side-eye without men making it about them? Jesus.)

The only possible instance of a "game" I see here is the woman contacting the OP via the dating site. Maybe she was bored, lonely, drunk, wanted attention, and/or wanted to interact in an arms-length and safe way. However, the repeated "no's" in the lead-up seem pretty cut and dry and should serve as a sufficient stop sign. I don't see how this is a case of mixed messages.

She doesnt like you

Nov 21, 2021 at 10:05pm

she just likes the attention.

24 2Rating: +22

Anonymous

Nov 22, 2021 at 12:12am

Is this pettiness seriously all some of you think about? You're both how old?

8 3Rating: +5

@C'mon

Nov 22, 2021 at 2:51am

Sorry, no. It's clear the woman is being a deliberate tease. She tells the OP to leave her alone, then initiates non-verbal cues meant to engage right after? She tells him to go away but then contacts him on a dating site? WTF is that?
Worse is seeing someone give the woman a free pass, making excuses for her behavior. Can you imagine if the roles were reversed? This double standard erodes credibility of women complaining about being respected when excuses are made for bad behavior followed by minimizing the experience of the OP. That's sexism.

@@C'mon

Nov 22, 2021 at 7:34am

Whatever happened to "no means no"? Are we still calling women "teases" and identifying her highly subjective non-verbal cues (as filtered by one perspective) as proof hat she's asking for it? Should we talk about the length of her skirt next?

How many clear "no's" does OP need to do his own work of disentanglement and pursue someone else? Especially if this has been going on for years? Just like in the bedroom, if you're not receiving an enthusiastic "yes," take some fucking responsibility for your dick/life and move on.

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