Full circle...

I have a decent job, and I am grateful...but when I put on my tie in the morning I cant help but sometimes feel like a fraud...an imposter. I slither into my costume like a reptile to join all the other reptiles in this real life game of mortal kombat...without the weed and potato chips. I feel like I am becoming my role/title....soul sucking office zombie living off the commissions of products that you cant even physically touch... Waiting for a baby boomer to retire so that I can replace them in that quest for upper mobility and higher taxes. I have become the enemy that I loathed during my teen years. I used to laugh at guys like me. "Yeah, whats wrong with that guy? Looks like he's got a stick shoved up his *s s" If I had a conversation with my old self and my current self, my old self would probably throw a che guevara book at my face. But then reality sets in. Obligations and deadlines overflowing at the rim. Angry clients...in-laws...Co workers that don't shut up. When I was 23 years old (circa 2008), I used to work as a barista. We had a pretty good crew. After work we would smoke a few joints and crack jokes about asshat clients. The kinds of people that would shit on us for not getting there milk at a certain temperature. Ironically, I have become one of those people... Slowly. So kids, when you see someone like me on the skytrain....just remember...I too once had a soul.

17 Comments

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Jeez, man...

Dec 1, 2021 at 3:22am

It sounds like you better change your life before you start hanging out in Yaletown.

20 1Rating: +19

Coffee maker

Dec 1, 2021 at 5:20am

People who buy coffee are customers, not clients. You grow up, get a decent job, and serve clients. That’s life. Not all it’s cracked up to be, is it?

7 1Rating: +6

Young

Dec 1, 2021 at 5:24am

You’re still very young. If you hate what you’re doing so much, why don’t you change it? It’s normal nowadays to have several different careers. The days where people felt that they had to get a job and stick with it forever are over. And please remember that you are not your job. Just like you’re not whatever role you’re playing in your life, such as husband, son, etc.. How you’re feeling is quite normal at your age by the way. If you were to ask most of your coworkers how they really feel about what they’re doing to earn money, they would probably say much the same. The hard reality is that we all have to do things we don’t like for a lot of the time, just for survival, so it’s how you choose to think about it that will make all the difference. (From one of those baby boomers you’re waiting to retire : ) ).

8 1Rating: +7

Ouch!

Dec 1, 2021 at 6:11am

Are you so alienated that you don't see a way out the alienation?

7 1Rating: +6

Ok Tough Guy

Dec 1, 2021 at 6:26am

now that your Chipotle manager, I see how far you've come from your blue collar work years. Remember there are many really smart people in menial jobs due to circumstances or mental illness and visa versa dip s***t advancing due to their conniving way. Things are not always it seems

10 2Rating: +8

If You Think

Dec 1, 2021 at 6:59am

You were somehow a better person,and better off back then- as opposed to now- then there truly is no help for you.

1 8Rating: -7

I hear ya

Dec 1, 2021 at 9:26am

I'm a professional, a lot older than you, and I was wondering the other day how the nature of my profession may have shaped my personality. I'm more hard-ass and less open to creativity than I used to be. It's kind of sad, really.

18 1Rating: +17

Free advice

Dec 1, 2021 at 9:51am

Love your confession, feels real. It's hard to look back at your idealism, and your sense of opportunity. When you focus on one of your several possibilities, the fact that your choice panned out doesn't take away the sting of the other ones dying off, does it?

But, as in any situation, you are here. What are you going to do to make the best of it? You know, fate could have (and still might!) drop you in the middle of a volcano, or in an open field, or into that cushy executive office. Regardless, you have to make good choices.

It sounds like you have already made a key choice, and that is to not allow yourself to fully identify with your JOB. What we do for a living is very important, for our own income and often for the effect on others, but for many people it is all that they are. When they retire, they are effectively dead.

Doesn't sound like you're dead. Sounds like you are conscious. Your sentimental memory-self urges you to be cooler and more high. You can't obey that guy to the letter. But you can be cooler in your way as you are now.

How? Not the faintest. That's your homework for this weekend.

14 1Rating: +13

Sink or Swim

Dec 1, 2021 at 4:18pm

Once I realized that my humanistic values were going to leave me either homeless or at best working until the age of 80, I decided to set myself free by playing the game until I didn't have to anymore.

I got ruthless, bit down and did what I had to do in order to survive and accumulate wealth. I'll be free in 3 more years. I finally feel like I can breathe again.

7 5Rating: +2

@jeezman

Dec 1, 2021 at 7:58pm

He probably lives there lol

2 0Rating: +2

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